Work/life balance MM
‘I would say to mothers, let yourself
off the hook a bit, stop beating
yourself up’
boss? Who’s the
Many new mums have insecurities about returning to work after giving birth, with many opting to build their own business instead. Vicki Psarias – founder of
HonestMum.com and author of Mumboss – tells you how to find the right work balance in your life.
Getting back to work after maternity leave or a break can often feel unnerving. You’ve been away for what feels like an eternity and will need an acclimatisation period. The last time you were in work was most likely when you were pregnant and you now, no doubt, feel like a different person – particularly if you’re a first-time mum. With my son, Oliver, I know that I felt like I was the first person in the world to have a baby! The funny thing is, we’re all creatures of
habit and routine, and when that goes out of the window (when babies happen), we tend to crave normality and, often, our former jobs. I remember telling my GP at my six-week check-up that I was missing being a director. She agreed that she had felt the same when her twins were born and was desperate to get back to her patients. I definitely missed the ritual of my work life: planning my day, adult conversation, being creative and seeing projects come to fruition. It’s OK and normal to miss your old life – and to be honest about that. Of course, not everyone feels that way. Many enjoy the freedom maternity leave brings, the new way of life. Some don’t wish to return to work, ever, and that’s OK too. Maternity leave allows you to see how
life could be outside of your current job or schedule. Here are my five top tips for returning to employment…
Ease in gently Do half days initially if you can, or make your first day close to the weekend so you’ll have a break after the first day or two back. Don’t be scared to ask questions or to set calendar reminders until you get back into the swing of things. Your colleagues will appreciate your needing support as you return to work.
Prep meals in advance Freeze food for the week and do an online shop, which can help with meal planning. Make soup and one-tray bakes, which are great to freeze, as well as being healthy and filling. A roast at the start of the week can create lots of meals throughout, from salads to soups. Arrange packed lunches from the night before for yourself, and even plan your outfit, as well as your baby’s, so the mornings feel less stressful.
Get some structure back into
your life For two weeks before returning to work, set your alarm so you get used to waking up at a specific time. Try to keep to that, even on your weekends – or days off, if you are going back part time – to help with structure. Sync your diary with work’s and your partner’s, noting any special days and events. Buy a huge wall calendar and hang it up, so you don’t forget key dates.
Don’t let mum guilt win The biggest challenge for most parents returning to work, or starting their own business, is the incessant wrestling with manic mum guilt. This often arises from now dividing your time between work and kids, and not being as readily available as you were on maternity leave. Psychologist Dr Karen Pine, co-founder
of Do Something Different Ltd, lends her advice on dealing with this: ‘I honestly believe there’s too much
emphasis on the effects – positive and negative – or parental behaviour on children. Mothers worry that anything they say or do will impact upon their child, hence they’re always worrying about getting it wrong and doing some lasting ‘damage’. ‘I would say to mothers, let yourself off
the hook a bit, stop beating yourself up. Of course, if you neglect or abuse your child it could do lasting damage, but mostly, if you love and care for them, they will be OK! Every minor decision does not have to be fraught with worry or potentially guilt-inducing.’
Say no One thing I’m personally not great at is saying ‘no’ – the people-pleaser in me dies a little every time I do, but I’ve learnt the hard way (hi there, exhaustion) that nos are necessary if you want to keep your sanity. Simplify your life and don’t overstretch yourself. Life is about to change.
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