by angelica osborne-hurd


fruit fly If your family makes you


feel worse about yourself, brings you down and ruins your holiday, then give


yourself complete permis- sion to celebrate with people who do love you.”


can...Or at least send your grandma a bouquet. On the opposite side of that coin: If your family


THE FAMILY YOU KNOW... AND THE ONE YOU CREATE


The holidays are upon us...Again! Thanksgiving


is in just a matter of weeks and for most people that means food, fun and family. But, what about those who don’t have a family, came from a dysfunctional one, or who maybe are “estranged” from theirs? The idea of course is that your family—if they’re


doing it right—should love you anyway, anyhow. I’m deeply sorry to hear and know so many people who got stuck with parents or family members that were lacking...I hate it and that’s certainly not fair. There is hope however! Because, you can choose to create your own family and in turn, make your own traditions! The most important part of the equation? Having someone in your life who loves you, just as you are. Even for people who have wonderful families,


the holidays can be stressful. I mean, who else remembers your ugly perm phase, the ex you swore


vehemently was “the one,” or the time you used your entire paycheck on fireworks from Crazy Joe’s fireworks stand? So embarrassing…I’m even embarrassed for you. Does your cousin have your hideous eighth grade school pic saved on his phone and loves to bust your balls about your emo/goth phase? Do you have that crazy uncle, who always has jokes about your vegan diet? Even if that’s the case, always remember


that you’re fine and it’s all part of what keeps us grounded. So, just suck it up and go see your family...Even if for only a couple of hours. See the new baby, hug your mom and grandma, get seconds on that hash brown casserole and talk shit about your cousin’s newly-exed-husband, etc. You might not always speak the same language, but if someone comes to give you a beat down, do they have your back? If that’s true, then yeah, you need to go if you


makes you feel worse about yourself, brings you down and ruins your holiday, then give yourself complete permission to celebrate with people who do love you. Maybe you’ve just started over in a new location? Join a group that wants to make the world a better place in a way you connect to. You will find like minds and feel a great purpose at the same time! The list of people and animals who need helping is so long, just find one that is close to your heart. Truth be told about Thanksgiving, it’s a day that commemorates the gentrification by white people originally and the beginning of oppression for America’s indigenous people, anyway. So honestly, if you don’t live out the Americanized version of what the day is supposed to be, it’s totally okay. If it feels good to cook and eat with your friends, do that. If you and your best mate just want to take the dogs on a hike, go for it. If you’re exhausted and want to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade with your cats in your bed, eating tofurkey with a nice Pinot Noir…Enjoy yourself! It’s the expectations around the holidays that tend


to make us feel disappointed when they don’t go the way we picture them in our head, an image that usually involves the perfect, traditional version represented in a classic Rockwell image. Comfort- ing for a lot of people, but for many, it’s a reminder of things they didn’t have. So, if it’s a difficult time for you, don’t feel obligated to do anything that doesn’t serve you. Does this sound selfish? Maybe, but I don’t think so. Once again, just because we are told what to


expect during these few weeks of the year and how it is supposed to look doesn’t make it so. And it certainly doesn’t always suit everyone’s family experience. We only get a few “free days” out of the entire year, so make sure you enjoy them in whatever way serves you.


HAPPY HOLIDAYS! From your favorite Fruit Fly!


NOVEMBER 2017 | RAGE monthly 45


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