UPBEAT TIMES, INC. • JUNE 2017 • 21 Living the Upbeat Life [DOLCE FA NIENTE ]


Many thank-yous to my friend Hari Meyers for asking his friend Rico Martin to photograph me during the recent Sebastopol fash- ion art show. I’ve cropped last month’s featured pose into a new head shot --thanks, guys!


SANTA ROSA, CA. ~ Q: I’ve been feeling so tired lately, I just want to crawl in bed, shut out the world, say no to everybody asking me to do stuff, and sleep forever. But there is so much to do, I feel overwhelmed. Even doing something fun seems too much for me. It’s really got me down, I feel guilty and angry and sad all at once: I’d appreciate advice, or a word to help me sort this out. –Debra C., Rohnert Park


A: Hi, Debra. Last night I was watch- ing the fi lm, “Eat, Pray, Love” based on the life and book by Elizabeth Gilbert. There was a scene in which “Liz”, visiting Italy, was being ad- vised by her Italian teacher. “Dol- chay fah nee-en-tay,” he told her. Discover the joy of not being so busy. Slow down, do nothing: “Dolce fa niente,” he said, means “sweet, do- ing nothing” –the sweetness of just being. You’re not alone, Debra. After working all week, tending my gar- dens, answering emails, exercising,


“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted


to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing


myself.” Jalaluddin Rumi


preparing food and shopping –all I want to do –is nada, nothing, niente. Not even muster energy to social- ize, accept a date, or get back in the car.


Our bodies weren’t designed for constant movement, or our minds to be perpetually stimulated taking in or putting out information. Our nervous systems weren’t made to be on alert all day long, prepar- ing for the next onslaught of advertisements, news


alerts


or troubleshoot- ing. ‘Too much’ are the go –to words here. Too much. –And not enough down time, me time, refl ection time.


Our individual tol- erance levels vary, of course, as do needs


for stimulation and rest. The impor- tant thing is to discover and respect your own true needs. We live in a society that overvalues being on the go, being productive and stimulated or entertained. What will serve best is practicing a mindful awareness of your body, your mind, your emo- tional reactions to what’s happening all day long, and make continual, healthy adjustments. Even minute adjustments are life-giving.. Notice your stress signals, stop to take a breath or two, observe that you were just focused in a way that was mak- ing you uncomfortable, tired, angry, guilty


or nervous. Maybe you’ll


catch the thought that matched that uncomfortable feeling: “There’s not enough time!” “I can’t let them down!” “I’m not smart enough!” “I’m too tired!” Instead, let those


by Marcia Singer www.lovearts.info


negative thoughts go. Breathe. Then, choose what you do want to focus on next and proceed, with a fresher per- spective. –And more energy. Practice this “S.T.O.P” method over and over, applying kindness to


the dis-ease of being too busy, of har- boring pressured, unkind thoughts. Enjoy the spaces between thoughts, choose kinder thoughts, or just focus onto any task at hand in a gentle way. Rest in your breathing. Just breathing, consciously, fully, renews both body and spirit. Thanks, Debra! It seems in writing my column for June, trying to help answer our question, I’m also bet- ter prepared for teaching my meditation class tomorrow morning, a class I teach to help me be a more present, relaxed and enthused me. As I tune in to the sense of rushing and tiring, I can fi nd courage to explore, in a word or three, “dolce fa niente” –the sweet doing-nothing-more-ness of my life. P.S. Happy Dad’s Day,


too, and don’t overdo it?! Shining deLight, Marcia


JOKES & Humor # 7


Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: Windows are totally frozen, will not open.


Husband replies: “Carefully pour some warm water over it and tap the edges fi rst with your hand, if that doesn’t work, then gently with a hammer.”


15 minutes later, the wife texts back: “Oh no, I think the laptop is now totally gone.” ~


“Doctor, what should we do with the new guy in room 6? He believes he’s a wolf.” -


Doctor: “Whatever you do,


don’t let his grandmother visit!”


At a psychiatric ward:


Available on iTunes and Amazon Joanne L. Mumola Williams, PhD


Download these Delicious Live-Changing Recipes Today!


“It is not that I’m so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer.” ~ Albert Einstein UPBEAT TIMES, INC. • JUNE 2017 • 21


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