ONE MINUTE MOORE
So, You Wanna Date My Daughter? RANDALL MOORE
Fathers of girls will ‘ get ‘ this. When their daughters start to date. Like my youngest, who has a crush on this guy, a guy who hasn’t met me yet, who doesn’t know that dating my girl comes with rules. These rules, some of which I’m ‘ borrowing ‘ from the website “
CountryHumour.com, “ these rules go like this:
RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER
No 1. Get a job, keep it. No 2. Understand I don’t like you and never will. No 3.
If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, cause you’re not picking anything up.
No. 4 You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off my daughter’s body, I will remove them.
No. 5 This one is very important: I AM EVERYWHERE!
No. 6 Have her home early, an hour early. No. 7 If you aren’t afraid of the dark, become afraid.
By PW
No. 8 As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my girl to appear, and more than hour goes by, do not sigh or fidget. If you want to be on time for a movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than renovating 24 Sussex. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car.
No. 9 My daughter will always love me more.
AND RULE NO. 10 FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER: Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Remember, whatever you do to her, I will do to you. Now don’t forget to have a good time. You can hear Randall every morning on CHEZ 106.
66 BOUNDER MAGAZINE
www.bounder.ca
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