in the moment is a trainable mental skill.


When it comes to optimism vs. pessimism – e.g. ‘I missed that pass but the next one is going to be perfect …’ vs. ‘I missed that pass. Here we go again. Whenever the game gets tough, I tank …’ – how much can be learned, and how much is wired into our DNA?


Both optimism and pes-


simism are 100 percent learned. Optimism is often defined by the idea that “something good is about to happen.” Anxiety – the excessive worry about potential threats – does in- volve both genetics and learning. At an early age, we learn how to think about the future from those who are supposed to teach and provide safety. If they work from a model that danger is all around and, therefore, we must be on high alert, it likely increases a sense of ap- prehension as well as a relentless scanning to identify potential threats in the environment. The good news is that anxiety can be unlearned as well. The first step toward change is to become aware of our inner dialogue and to understand what we say to ourselves that builds versus what we say to ourselves that destroys (ourselves, our future, and oth- ers). The next step is to have clarity of the thoughts that propel us in the direction or state we’d like to be in. For example, if a mistake is made, research has found that process-based self-talk – ‘I can do better. I will do better. I’m gonna stay smooth next time’ – is more effective than outcome-based self-talk – ‘I will break my record. I will break the team’s record.’ Optimism is one of the strategies that help teams play one play at a time. As soon as something goes awry in the heat of competition, an optimistic lens helps athletes say things like, ‘All right, let’s go. Stay in it.’ Why ‘Stay in it’? Because they have a foundational belief that the future is going to be bright and that the only way to influence that is to ‘stay in’ this moment. Optimism is a function of how we think about the future. A great example of the value of training and cultivating optimism can be found in this Finding Mastery Podcast with Seattle Seahawks Coach Pete Car- roll (www.findingmastery.net/pete-carroll).


You’ve talked about the importance of that very short communication window (three to five seconds) after an athlete has either had a disappointment or a success. What should players and coaches know about how to best handle what they say in those moments?


There’s no absolute right way to coach or be coached. It’s a rela- tionship that has layers of nuances for both involved. Quite literally, relationships are complicated.


That being said, coaches who demonstrate and practice having an unconditionally high regard for others tend to foster a bond that pro- motes ‘going for it.’ That’s essentially what we want for others who are on the path of mastery – to really go for it. When we have a high regard for others, instead of being frustrated when they go for it and it doesn’t go according to plan, we’ll stay connected to the performer. Frustration and eye rolling is a demonstration that the coach isn’t able to stay ‘in it’ with the performer. They’ve lost their ability to man- age their mind and their emotions and have then cut themselves off from the person they are working to help be better. How does that make any sense? And when a coach, in those three


to five seconds after a mistake, makes a public display of frustration or disappointment, a natural response for performers is to become either embarrassed (when public embarrassment takes place, it’s extremely dif- ficult to re-build trust) or to begin focusing more on what others think of how they are ‘doing’ rather than using their internal compass to guide


Mike Gervais played an important behind-the-scenes role in the U.S. Women’s team bronze-medal performance in Rio with his highly- regarded mental training methods. He is pictured second from right (middle row) in this picture. Photo: Bill Kauffman.


their next thoughts and actions. Great coaches who use sport as a way to build people tend to have insight and build on those relationships that support and challenge others to relentlessly train to go further than each thought was possible.


How does the strategy for being ‘present’ in a very short, intense moment vary from the strategy for being present in a moment that is quieter and more leisurely?


It doesn’t. Being present is available in every moment of life, not just during moments that have risk or consequence.


What are some ways to help athletes and coaches have confidence, stay calm and be able to quickly refocus during the heat of competition?


Confidence is said to be one of the cornerstones of sustaining excel-


lence. The mechanics of confidence are not complicated. Confidence es- sentially comes from what we say to ourselves. Those who are interested in mastering this part of the game have a distinct competitive advantage. There are many ways to become more aware of the thoughts that


promote an ideal mindset. You can write to become more clear. You can talk with friends and mentors to gain clarity. Or you can listen deeply to your inner dialogue (using mindfulness training). Once you become aware, then having the discipline to think in productive ways is one of the keys to performing to your capacity.


Kerri Walsh Jennings says one of your messages is that everything we need to be successful is already inside of us. Can you explain that? Some might say that certain people have a big genetic advantage over others.


That comment is not about genetic or physical gifts. It’s about ac-


cessing your capacity. Training your body and your mind are not that different from each other. Both are enhanced with deliberate practice. Training your mind provides greater access to your physical capac-


ity. If your mind is busy worrying about what could go wrong, what just went wrong, or what other’s might be thinking about how you’re ‘doing,’ all of that noise clutters your access to adjusting fluidly to the demands of the challenge at hand. Everything you need is already inside you, so trust your ability to


adjust.


Do you have strategies for helping athletes overcome that overwhelmed feeling that often arises from a lengthy to-do list (practice, study, chores, socialize, etc.) and makes them feel as if their brain is about to explode?


Fall in love with the pursuit of your potential. Fall in love with exploring, every day, the limits of your physical and mental capacity. Recover well through optimal sleep and proper hydration and nutri- tion. Embrace the idea that if you want growth, it’s a pre-requisite to do difficult things.When you’re doing the difficult thing, quietly smile, knowing that you’re ‘in it.’


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