triangulation dance and gone off the rightwards edge, dancing into the privatised darkness in the arms of the Tories. Labour has gone into a place where Scotland will not follow, and we won’t be enticed along its crazy pathing by Murphy’s trail of jaundiced jam.
by Paul Kavanagh
to think another chance for the Union was another chance for them. It wasn’t. Scotland had other plans.
We’re a much cherished partner, they told us. They need our Caledonian distinctiveness in the rich tapestry of Britain, they said. Now’s the time that Westminster proves that it meant it when it love bombed us, now’s the time that the promised Home Rule is delivered. But Scotland doesn’t trust the Unionist parties to keep their word. We’ve had our fi ngers burned too many times in the past. We’ve been deceived and disappointed too many times before. So this time we’re going to make sure they keep their promises, that they deliver on the love they bombed us with. This time we’re going to do it ourselves. This time we’re going to take it, not beg for it.
By now, the desperation and hysteria will be at full pitch. The demonisation of an entire country has already begun, the UK press is full of stories bewailing the collective madness that has possessed the Scots, the drunken kilt wearers, Mars Bar friers, Buckie drinkers. Their love didn’t last long. Scotland, they tell whoever wants to listen, is overtaken by a madness that makes us refuse to see the world through the gimlet staring eyes of the Daily Mail, an insanity that immunises us from the uncommon nonsense of the Telegraph. The supposed British sanity that screams that simple social democracy is the province of extremists who’re taking over North Britain with their Caledonian cult of sensibility and social justice.
It’s the people who are wrong, not
the parties the people turn their back on. It’s the people who are broken, not the system they reject.
If the Tory press represents sanity Scotland wants no part of it. The truth is that the SNP is not that leſt wing. It’s mildly social democratic, and only seems on the leſt because Labour has danced its
The Unionist parties are on the verge of an extinction event. Aſt er the smear that backfi red, even Alistair Carmichael isn’t safe in his Northern Isles redoubt. Soon, we may have the results of the investigation into the leak of the dodgy memo which tried and failed to smear Nicola Sturgeon as a closet Tory lover. It was never going to work, the fi rst rule of smearing is to smear with something that’s going to stick. The fi ngers are pointing to Alistair’s offi ce, and we will soon see whether his constituents take the same “oh well these things happen” view as he does.
A lit le part of me hopes that Jim Murphy keeps his seat, and returns to Westminster all by himself as the leader of nothing. That will be funny. But then I wonder what will happen if he does lose his seat, and then he’s going to try and justify how he can remain the leader of Labour’s Scot ish accounting unit despite no longer holding elected offi ce. That will be funnier.
T e Unionist parties are on the verge of an extinction event. Aſt er the smear that backfi red, even Alistair Carmichael isn’t safe in his Northern Isles redoubt.
All we know for sure is that in a few short days, the political map of Scotland is going to change forever, and the political map of the UK will change with it. The days when Scotland’s role in the Union was to provide lobby fodder for one Unionist party or another are well and truly over. Now Scotland is doing it for itself. They wanted us to be a partner in this Union, let’s see how they like it when we start acting like one. This isn’t just the End of Days for the Labour party in Scotland, it’s likely to be the beginning of the end of the Union as well.
May 2015 31
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