Parenting Styles


Research on parenting, in sport and more generally, often involves comparing two distinct styles. Supportive parents (authoritative) provide appropriate structure and boundaries for their children and at the same time allow them to be involved in decision-making. These parents are also able to read their children’s mood and allow two-way communication. Controlling parents (authoritarian) do not support their children’s autonomy, are not sensitive to their children’s mood, and tend to use more closed modes of communication.


In a study by Nick Holt and colleagues, they tracked 56 sport parents and their children for a season to investigate the impact of different parenting styles. They found that the most effective parents were involved in their children’s sporting life but knew where the line was drawn and remained supportive rather than controlling.


For example, one dad was so involved that he was a member of the coaching staff for his daughter’s team. But he did not try to control his children. Instead, he explained that:


“There are certain limits and boundaries to what they can and can’t do. There are expectations of how they should perform. I try to leave decisions up to them, rather than enforcing what they can and can’t do, should or shouldn’t do. I try to guide them so that they’re making the decisions.”


Supportive parents also seemed to place minimal pressure on their children to act in certain ways. For example, this dad said,


“We’re trying to teach her to take responsibility and control of situations.”


And the mum agreed, explaining how one day during the summer she involved her daughter in decision making:


“I said to her, ‘do you want to go rafting? You have to decide by tomorrow, I’m not pushing you to do anything you don’t want to.’ The next day she said, ‘I’ll regret it if I don’t, and yeah, I want to go.’”


Referring to her involvement in decision making, their child said that “yeah, Mom and Dad just try to keep me relaxed and not worry…and just encourage me [to make decisions] and give me confidence.”


This approach can be contrasted with that of more controlling parents who didn’t appear able to read their child’s mood or engage in two-way dialogue. For example, one father said:


“You can’t win if you don’t put in the time and effort and practice. And so ten minute [practice] drills. . . . At our house they are non- negotiable, you have to do them. And it will be me or their mum. . . . We both have the same kinds of expectations of them.”


There is now a wealth of research showing that children from supportive families are more self-determined, intrinsically motivated and happier than children from controlling families. This finding has been supported for coaches in youth sport and teachers in physical education.


Vince: It’s nice to hear their opinion. W not fully agree with it, but it’s nice to h opinion on things.


Michael: She always said, ‘If you’re no you school work, you’re not going to p They did stick by it, I wouldn’t say ove but they did stick by it.


To be honest we weren’t really naught anyway but we knew there was a line. might have pushed it, as you do a kid, we missed a homework here or there, generally if you got to that limit you st


And I think that’s probably the bigg about the boys club, was the discipl There were quite strict rules to follo you didn’t follow them then you wo able to play the 11-a-side.


Graeme: If you misbehaved in the clu be suspended from the games


Michael: And if you missed training fo 11-a-side, on one night a week you wo play on the Sunday. Just basic rules bu taught you values.


Graeme: And dirty boots.


Michael: Clean your boots! But little t built the respect really and the coache went out of their way to try their best coaching you.


Part 2 - Teenage K


At the start of this phase Michael is still p of different sports – athletics, cricket, rug football. School provides a very rich and experience alongside his club football; M peer group is extremely successful and m friends are linked with professional team


Around the age of 14 a decision is made solely on football. Lots of clubs are intere Michael but he loves the environment at so with the full support of his parents ch sign for them. Moving away from home i involved, but Michael settles quickly into new routine.


11


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