4 Respect
If the parent’s ranting and raving: ‘The teachers are no good!’. Well that child’s going to grow up thinking they can say what they want, when they want
Lynn: When the boys were young we used to say that wherever you go, whoever you’re with, whether it’s your Grandma or your Auntie, whoever, they are in charge of you. You take notice of them, ok. If there was an incident or if they’re doing something wrong, I wouldn’t say, ‘We’ll deal with it later.’ You deal with it there and then. If they’re doing something wrong Grandma would tell them off. If it’s in the classroom and they’ve done something wrong I’d expect the teacher to discipline them. So when they’ve played football, at the boys club and elsewhere, ‘you’ve got to listen to what people are telling you.’ It’s not us, but those in charge of you, so take notice. So they started listening for the coaches telling them what to do, we didn’t really get involved. We brought them up so that they respect those people.
You’ve got to do your homework before you do your football
Vince: Its football and everybody has got their own opinions. But at the end of the day the coach picks the team. I wouldn’t go against the coach. You can’t have a player speaking to a coach and maybe disagreeing, ‘I’m sorry but my dad told me…’
Lynn: It comes when you’re at school and some parents they haven’t got any respect for the teachers. If you’re talking to the child and something’s happened, an incident at school, and the parent’s ranting and raving ‘the teachers are no good.’ Well that child’s going grow up thinking they can say what they want, when they want. And wherever you go in life there’s someone you’ve got to listen to and you
can’t always be right.
So it’s bringing them up with discipline. We’ve never really had to go over the top. Because I think they’ve had their football. What I’ve always said is if you misbehave at school or don’t do your homework or something you wouldn’t be able to go to football. So yes we used it. But only once or twice in that time, when Michael’s pushed his luck and I said ‘you’ve got to do your homework before you do your football.’
There was an 11-a-side game. And he was about 13 at this time. And he hadn’t done some homework. I said ‘you’re not going to training tonight.’ And he didn’t go to training. He was saying, ‘but when I see Ken on Saturday…’ but I phoned Ken up to explain and said to Michael, ‘I always said you had to do it, or you wouldn’t go. And when you see Ken, you’ll say to Ken ‘I’m sorry I didn’t make it because I didn’t do my homework.’’ But I never used the word grounded.
I think it all stems from how you’re bringing them up to start to with. Christian values have been a big part. We’ve got respect for the boys. And they’ve got respect for us. And I think they’ve got respect for different people that they meet. I think it starts when they’re younger. If they’re used to parents more or less telling them what to do, they’re going to tell them on the football pitch. They’re going to scream and shout at them whatever they do wherever they are. They’re not going to let them think for themselves. They are still trying to make the decisions for them. Because we always set the boundaries from when they were little; we always gave the reasons why we’d done anything.
We always talked to them. And we didn’t talk down to them. I mean they’ve got to know that you’re the parent and you’re the one in charge. But we talked to them. You’ve got to allow children to have a little leeway. You can’t tell them everything. They’ve got to learn from life.
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