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“Remember to let her into your heart.”


“We’re going out where the sands turning to gold, so put on your stockings cos the nights getting cold.”


“Lose your dreams and you will lose your mind.”


“Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.”


“Droplets of yes and no, in an ocean of maybe.”


“So hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.”


“I wanna be the girl with the most cake.”


“Why pamper life’s complexities when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?”


L


Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.


My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad I finally had to take his bike away.


A man goes to the doctor and says: “Doctor, there’s a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom.” Te doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him. Te man asks: “Is it serious, doctor?” and the doctor replies: “I’m sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.”


I’d like to buy a new boomerang please. Also, can you tell me how to throw the old one away?


Woke up with a dead leg this morning. I won’t be taking out a loan with the mafia again.


Why did Star Wars episodes four, five and six come before one, two and three? Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.


What’s E.T short for? He’s got little legs.


NORWICH MARKET


et’s play Norwich photo bingo, shall we? Cathedral


spire as seen from the cloisters? Yup. Norwich Castle framing the skyline? Got it. City Hall? Of course. Te tops of Norwich Market stalls, a multicoloured patchwork quilt of stripes spreading down to Gentleman’s Walk? Now that is Norwich. Castles, cathedrals, and civic centres are found everywhere, and as special and iconic as ours are, there’s nowhere else like Norwich Market.


Tere just isn’t, you know it already. For a start, it’s one of the oldest and largest open air markets in the country, which considering the size of Norwich is pretty damned impressive. But really, the best thing about it is not it’s age, size, or eyepleasing nature, but the downright odd and brilliantly unexpected nature of it. You just never know what you’re going to get. But you can pretty much get it all.


Spices and flowers and phone fixers and ice cream and clothes and books and vinyl and haberdashery (never waste an opportunity to use the word ‘haberdashery’, it is one of the glories of our language). I’m Norwich bred and born, yet every time I go to the market I find a new stall I’d never noticed before and instantly find a new favourite place.


Ting is, with the market, we don’t appreciate it, not as much as we should. In these days of identikit main shopping streets clogged with all of the usual chain stores, we have right in front of us a fantastic display of what the spirit of Norwich is – a banding together of wildly disparate, fiercely independent, beautifully local traders, selling everything you need, and quite a lot of what you want. We shouldn’t take it for granted, because it’s something unique to the city, that couldn’t really exist anywhere else. Gwarn, have a wander round, it will almost certainly surprise you.


And then of course, partake of one of life’s greatest pleasures: eating chips at the top of the war memorial, looking out across the awnings and think ‘hell, yeah, Norwich Market. You do what no one else can. BINGO.’


jessikart OUTLINEONLINE.CO.UK / FEBRUARY 2017 / 7


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