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Regarding Relationship
By Marina Maurino, MA Working at “Forever”
We have all heard that Love is for a reason, a season or for-
ever. I think those of us in serious relationships have the intention of it lasting forever. It can, of course, but we have to work at it. There are many layers to relationships. In every one there
are spiritual contracts, emotional bonding, psychological collu- sions and physical ties. Quite enough to keep us busy for decades! All relationships have an inherent capacity for organic shifts and with all these layers of intertwining connections they will naturally evolve or deteriorate depending on how conscious- ly proactive we are. They can grow deeper, richer and more rewarding as time goes by. They can also become argumentative and challenging, dull and boring or just plain good old-fashioned vanilla. Everyday with each word and interaction we get to choose just how our relationship will continue unfolding. This article is about how to create a relationship that is rich,
rewarding and even juicy. I remember many years ago hearing that “the truth is erotic” and I firmly believe that that is one of the secrets of a rich relationship: telling the truth, the truth of facts, of course, but as important, the truth of feelings. The word erot- ic comes from Eros, the Greek god of love, and is generally applied to sexual love and desire. It is used here not to refer to feeling sexual for another person but to feeling our own life force energy.When we have fully expressed our truth, we feel clearer and lighter in our bodies and our energy flows more freely. Sharing what we feel is showing who we are. It is vulnera-
ble. It is courageous.Wemay have to say things we are afraid the other won’t like.We may have to show our vulnerability and our shame. We may have to confess likes or dislikes and fear our partner’s disapproval.We may have to find our voice, claim our power or live our integrity in ways that our partner may find intimidating. Not easy. However, fear and excitement are two sides of the same energy. Think of a time when you pushed through fear and how it felt afterwards. Maybe it was trying a roller coaster ride or speaking in front of a group.Whether it was fun or not, do you remember the anticipatory anxiety and after- wards the feeling of excitement just for having done it? It is the same when we are in truth with our partner. Pushing through the fear of telling our truth sparks a new vitality. The truth is erotic. It adds aliveness to us and to our partner. The success of this open approach depends on the co-oper-
ation of both partners. For a relationship to succeed, it truly needs to be a partnership.When we have the same vision and are both consciously committed to it, we can create miracles together. Both partners need to work at it. In order to create a “forever” relationship that is rich, rewarding and juicy, we need to be con- scious about certain areas.
What creates this type of relationship, a relationship in
which both people are happy and like being together?What come to mind are relationships that have friendship as a foundation, a profound commitment to the partnership and a vision of where theywant it to go. Toward each other there is devotion and accep- tance of who the other is. That’s a huge
piece.And there is a will- ingness and determination to see things through, to not avoid pain and instead, to bear together the challenges and obstacles that inevitably come our way. Amutual sense of fun and adventure also goes a really long
way. A desire to explore and discover makes life interesting, keeps us young and active and generates a juicy relationship. Whether it is a river cruise in France, a safari, a baseball game or a stroll in the park it doesn’t matter.What matters is if it’s fun for the couple. Another essential component to forging a rich relationship is
getting time alone.Our busy lives don’t always afford us that lux- ury and yet it is crucial whether it is a bit of time each evening, a shared cup of coffee in the morning or a long weekend away. Having time alone reminds us of why we are together and helps restore and maintain our connection. And, also important, is for each of us to get some personal space and time alone. These things are all very important if we want to have a
happy “forever” relationship. Yes, it takes work. Without that work we begin to take each other for granted and to disconnect and the relationship starts to deteriorate. We work at everything else.We work hard at our jobs, work hard at the gym, work hard at being a good mom or dad, we work hard on our yards and houses and taking care of others. If we work hard on our rela- tionship and stay present, aware and conscious then all the rest will flow.We will still have challenges but they won’t be as bur- densome. Love eases, soothes and nurtures but you have to make it happen!
Marina Maurino, MA, is passionate about supporting her
clients to discover who they really are and to live the most authentic version of themselves. Going a step beyond talk ther- apy, she guides you to access and release (through emotional energy work) the feelings that are keeping you stuck and in pain and teaches you ways to create a spiritual life and conscious healthy relationships. The session includes intuitive counseling, emotional energy healing and spiritual teaching. For info about private sessions, couples counseling (with her husband, Joseph Maurino, LCSW, see ad p.19), healing circles or workshops please call 201-967-9377 or visit
www.reflectingtruth.com.
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