IR 21
Certified Professional Life,Health andWellness Coach
• Have you lost your self? • Do you look in the mirror and struggle to recognize the person looking back at you?
• Or, maybe you’re wondering who you are now that your kids are grown up? I can help you reclaim your joy!
Contact me for a free discovery session – and reclaim your joy, purpose and zest for life!
Jennifer Bellber,
jennifer@jenniferbellber.com www.jenniferbellber.com• 201-463-1889
Transform Your Life and Relationships: The Mirroring Technique By Diana “Trinity” Nieves
A way to transform your life and relationships is to be con-
scious by being actively aware of your thoughts, behaviors and feel- ings. One of the greatest and fastest ways to see what you are truly thinking, feeling, and how/why you are behaving is to SEE what your world is reflecting to you through the mirroring technique. The mirroring technique is a method in which you utilize your
relationships to show you what it is that is happening inside you. Every person you meet or are with and every situation offers you a mirror to see a reflection of what exists inside of you - your emo- tions, your conscious and unconscious thoughts, and how you treat or do not treat yourself physically. You attracted them into your life as an opportunity for learning and transforming your life. People whose personalities and actions tend to push your but-
tons (trigger you) are mirroring to you something about YOU. Just as you would look at your face in an actual mirror; the mirroring technique is seeing the inside of you through someone else’s behav- ior. The reverse is true as well – those whom you admire and love are mirroring (reflecting) your greatest gifts. However, you may believe that when relationship disagree-
ments occur the other person is the sole problem. You were taught to point the finger and blame someone else for your unhappiness and that will never solve relationship issues or teach you how to be more loving and empowered. It is impossible to change the other person or “fix” the relationship when you are in blame mode. Growth and change begin when you seek to see how you con- tributed to the difficulty. The mirroring technique is when you look inward and observe
what is happening so you can take responsibility your actions and reactions to what is going on in your relationships and life. You look at what you are doing or not doing to make yourself unhappy. This is not about self-blame. It is about taking RESPONSIBILITY for your actions and reactions. Also, this doesn’t mean you take all the responsibility for everything and overlook how the other person contributed to the issue. The mirroring technique shifts you from focusing exclusively
on the other person to increasing your consciousness and self- awareness of your own behaviors. Paying attention to your reactions during your interactions with others allows you to acknowledge your co-creation in the situation and not ignore it. If you feel comfortable with someone, you are mirroring posi-
tive parts of yourself. If you don’t like the person, they are reflect- ing something in you that you feel uncomfortable about although you would probably deny it if confronted directly with that infor- mation. You may even put up a wall to avoid seeing yourself in this mirror by shutting someone out of your life. But the more you deny it, the more likely it is true and the universe will provide you with more encounters to amplify these qualities back at you until you see the reflection in the mirror. Your mirror will change when you take steps needed towatch your own behavior then learn, accept and heal the wounded parts of you. The mirroring technique works by doing the following: 1. Next time you interact with someone, notice how you are feeling physically (e.g. knot in your stomach,muscle tension), emo-
tionally (e.g. anxious, upset, irritated), and mentally (e.g. thoughts pop up in your mind “ugggh they make me sick,” “what a jerk!”). 2. Then ask yourself: “Why does
this person or situation affect (trigger) me so negatively? What is he doing or not doing (actions/reactions) that upsets me?” 3. Turn the question around to –
“What is he doing or not doing that I am upsetting myself about?” Where is this reaction coming from? 4. Now ask “How amI similar to that? What amI doing or not
doing to/formyself to attract this?”Observe yourself in different sit- uations or ask someone you trust (friend, family, coach or coun- selor) to help you if you don’t readily see it. 5. Admit or at least consider the possibility that whatever this
person may be doing or not doing could be something that you need to change about yourself. 6. Accept and dis-identify with this aspect of you (this is part
of me, but it is not all that I am). 7. Continue to practice this technique with awareness until it
becomes more natural, less threatening, and helps you learn more about the real you so you can make the changes you desire and transform your life. As you shift yourself (behaviors, actions/reactions, thoughts,
feelings), focus on the people in your life you admire and enjoy being with. What is it about them that you like or attracted to? Are they kind, gentle, compassionate, etc.? Do you feel like you can be who you are around them? Whatever it is in them that you are attracted to these are the same qualities you have with in you. These qualities you admire may be buried and hidden but they do exist within you. They are mirroring you to
you.All you have to do is to choose to open yourself, your heart to reveal them and embrace the wonderfulness that you are. You have the power to transform your life and your relationships.
Diana is a Board Certified Emotional Empowerment Coach.
An emotional empowerment coach is someone who assists others in healing their hearts so they can live their heart’s truth. Diana is an expert in assisting people to heal their hearts, discover and express their truth, and feel the LOVE that dwells within themselves and their relationships. She is also a natural born empathic intuitive, energy practitioner, author, and motivational speaker. Diana received her Master's degree from New York University. She has acquired certifications in Infinite Possibilities Coaching, Positive Psychology Coaching, Spiritual Life Coaching, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Reiki, Quantum Touch, Vibrational Medicine, Spiritual Response Therapy, Soul Coaching® Master Oracle Card Reader and other healing modalities. Diana also leads workshops throughout NY and NJ.
www.dianatrinitynieves.com,
dianatrinitynieves@gmail.com
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