UPBEAT TIMES, INC. • February 2016 • 7 Vikings in Ireland? You betcha! You’re Invited! JOKES & Humor # 3


Whose Briefs Are These?


by Gabriel A. Fraire ~ gafraire@comcast.net


Healdsburg, CA. ~ Late one night, I dozed off at a public meeting and I was jolted awake when I heard someone say, “Dad you awake?”


Even on days when my wife gathers the kids, dress- es them quietly and sneaks the whole lot out of the house in an attempt to allow dad to sleep past


7 a.m. it never quite works. The phone rings, someone knocks at the door.


Once awake, parents


are awake for the day. In my youth, which now-a-days refers to any time prior to having chil- dren, I was not only able to sleep late but if awakened I could fall back to sleep.


Sleep is just one of the things I have given up since becoming a parent, privacy and solitude are a close second. But I never thought having children would affect my underwear.


It used to be men wore dif- ferent underwear than women. Then came the “sexual revolu- tion” and men’s and women “undies” became more “ge- neric.” Seems everybody in our family now wears cotton briefs. For awhile I could distinguish my underwear from the girls easy enough because mine were the biggest. But as the girls grew and then moved into these one size fi ts all styles, it started to get more diffi cult.


Then one day I discovered a very telltale sign. After that dis- covery it became easy to distin- guish my “undies” from theirs. Mine were the worn out ones with the over-stretched elastic and extra holes.


T ese columns are excerpts


from the book Daddy I Need to Go Potty by Gabriel A.


Fraire. Fraire has been a writer more than 40 years and is the current Literary Laureate of


Healdsburg. He can be reached through his


website: gabrielfraire.com


Santa Rosa, CA. ~ If you are Irish, or feel inexplicably drawn to Viking history & love corned beef and cabbage, this is the event for you.


March 12th, the great cooks at Freya Lodge Sons of Norway will present their third annual Vikings in Ireland Corned Beef and Cabbage Dinner. T e ac- claimed Vikings of Bjornstad will present an entertaining program, proving to you that the Vikings were indeed in Ire- land and if you are Irish, Viking blood could very well run thick


in your veins. T e Vikings of Bjornstad is a


On Saturday,


living history and educational group, concentrating on the Viking age. T e group does authentic presentation of cul- ture, weapons and craſt s from a thousand years ago, includ- ing Viking, Norman and An- glo-Saxon re-enactments and have been fi lmed for History Channel productions and par- ticipated in feature movies. See contact information & details in ad on page 3(Corned Beef & Cabbage).


A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This kid is not the sharpest razor in the shop. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”


“Everything you can imagine is real.” ~ Pablo Picasso


UPBEAT TIMES, INC. • February 2016 • 7


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