6 • July 2015 • UPBEAT TIMES Getting Dressed by Gabriel A. Fraire ~ gafraire@comcast.net


Healdsburg, CA. ~ The getting dressed routine is always a tough one with my little one. And I’m con-


stantly saying, “Let daddy help you.” She


has a mind


of her own


and only wants to wear one of two dresses, a dingy old spotted soiled pink one and a red, white and blue one the rest of us call her fl ag dress.


On good mornings I can ca- jole, threaten and physically su- persede her demands and put her into something else. This morn- ing I’m feeling really sick, she ends up with a pink dress over the fl ag dress and two different shoes.


The phone rings. Mom forgot some important papers and any chance we could bring them to her. Sure. I mean, when you are sick and have kids pain and mis- ery at home or on the road, it’s a tossup. (No pun intended).


I thought I had a brilliant idea. I’d put this snowsuit over the whole ensemble my daughter was wearing. It was cold out- side and we were just going to drive over to mom’s work, drop off some papers and drive home. Who would be the wiser (How many moms have said those ri- diculously naive words?) Mom was grateful for our ef-


forts but before we can head out the door, in walks a very proper well-dressed older woman, a colleague of my wife. She is so pleased to meet us. What a love- ly child. How nice to see a father taking care of his daughter. But isn’t she hot in that snow- suit? Here, let me help her take it off. Before I can protest, the woman bends down unzips the snowsuit and out pops this pink and blue version of the Ameri- can Flag.


My little one just smiled, “Daddy helped me dress.”


~ Gabriel A. Fraire has been a writer more than 40 years. He is also the current Healdsburg Literary Laureate. He can be reached through his Web site at: www.gabrielfraire.com


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Success is never fi nal. - Winston Churchill JOKES & Humor # 3


An Irishman moves into a tiny village in County Kerry, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone. An hour later, the man has fi nished the three beers and orders three more. This happens yet again. The next eve- ning the man again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town is whispering about “The Man Who Orders Three Beers.” Finally, a week later, the bar- tender broaches the subject on behalf of the town. “I don’t mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers?” “Tis odd, tisn’t it?” the man replies, “You see, I have two brothers, and one went to America, and the other


to Australia. We promised each other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping up the family bond.” The bartender and the whole town were pleased with this answer, and soon the “Man Who Orders Three Beers” became a local celebrity and source of pride to the village, even to the extent that out-of-towner’s would come to watch him drink. Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers. The bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest of the evening: he orders only two beers. The word


fl ies around town. Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the brothers. The next day, the bartender says to the man, “Folks around here, me fi rst of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of your brother. You know, the two beers and all...” The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, “You’ll be happy to hear that my two brothers are alive and well.


It’s just that I, myself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent.”


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