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Summer GUIDE #1


EXCUSE ME...CAN I GET SOME HELP? I GET A BIT NERVOUS DURING FIREWORKS, TRAVELING & LOUD NOISES...DO YOU PER- CHANCE HAVE A REMEDY FOR MY ANXIETY?


Musical Collaboration Between The Sonoma County Library And The Santa Rosa Symphony Continues


June 2015 • 14 JOKES & Humor # 7


Several men are in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues: “Hello?” “Honey,


Santa Rosa, CA. ~ In the month of June, 2015, the Santa Rosa Symphony will be per- forming four FREE ensem- ble performances as part of a unique, exciting and year- long collaboration between the So- noma County Library and the Santa


Rosa Symphony. We


Quiet Moments May be Needed! 20% OFF


fi reworks, periods of traveling and loud noises. Right now, this calming aid is on sale for the month of June!


Vaccination clinics every Sunday from 9:30am to 11:30 am


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www.westernfarmcenter.com Mon-Sat 8am-5:30pm • Sun 9:30am-4pm


14 • June 2015 • UPBEAT TIMES Just in time for Father’s Day


Trade-In Days Event! June 2rd


through June 17th


Santa Rosa • 2875 Santa Rosa Ave. • 525-0569 www.lazboy.com/santarosa


Quiet Moments really help to keep dogs and cats from freaking out due to the


have had many enthusiastic au- diences of all ages at these per- formances. For the fi rst time in our musical collaboration, principal musicians from the Santa Rosa Symphony wood- wind section as well as the symphony’s principal harpist and fl utist will be performing. Alan Silow, Executive Direc- tor of the Santa Rosa Sympho-


ny said ”The Santa Rosa Sym- phony is delighted to partner with Sonoma County Library to bring performances of our talented musicians beyond the concert stage to library settings throughout Sonoma County that will provide library audi- ences a free, and up close en- riching musical experience.”


Library Director, Brett Lear says, “I’m very proud of this partnership between the So- noma County Library and the Santa Rosa Symphony. I’m thrilled that residents from throughout the county can now experience the sym-


... continued on page 19


What Dad really needs is a little more comfort!


And let’s face it, a new tie is not very comfortable.


Donate Furniture or Groceries and Save an extra $50 - $200 (Visit store for details)


It’s me.” “Sugar!” “Are you at the club?” “Yes.” “Great! I’m at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a beauti- ful mink coat. It is absolutely gorgeous! Can I buy it?” “What’s the price?” “Only $1,500.” “Well, okay, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much.”


“Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2016 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price ... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year...”


“What price did he quote you?” “Only $78,000!” “Okay, but for that price I want it with all the options.” “Great! Before we hang up, something else...” “What?” “It might seem like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and...well, I stopped by to see the real estate agent this morning and I saw the house we had looked at last year. It’s on sale! Remember? The one with a pool, English garden, acre of park area, beachfront prop- erty...” “How much are they asking?” “Only $650,000... a magnifi cent price, and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover...” “Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $620,000, OK?” “Okay, sweetie. Thanks! I’ll see you later!! I love you!!!” “Bye.”


The man hangs up, closes the phone’s fl ap and asks aloud, “Does anyone know whose phone this is?”


Just about a month from now I’m set adrift, with a diploma for a sail and lots of nerve for oars. ~Richard Halliburton


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