2 • March 2015


Memphis Annual Birthday Food Drive Upbeat Times Adds New Columnists! First Humor FIRST UP!


An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.” The Doctor replied “Have you tried counting sheep?” The accountant stated “That’s the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to fi nd it.”


Santa Rosa, CA. ~ Hi, my name is Memphis. I’m hoping you can help me get the word out about my project. Every year since I was 5 I’ve hosted a food drive for the Redwood Empire Food Bank on my birthday. This year, I turn 10 and plan to raise at least 10,000 meals. I put in about 50 hours of volunteer work, standing in front of the supermarket and this year at my soccer club’s Winter Academy to help make this happen. I also ask people to give me canned goods or make a donation to the food bank in- stead of gifts at my Birthday party. For every dollar donated the REFB can buy 2 meals!” My friend Billy Bartz (at the REFB) says I’m one of the big- gest individual fundraisers at the food bank. My fi rst year,


SIGMOND


when I was 5, I raised over 700 meals and I was happy and proud, but I knew I could do better. So when I turned 6 I read a newspaper article about the Toyota dealership raising 1,700 meals for the food bank and I decided to beat them. I ended up with 5,585 meals. On my 7th birthday I raised over 8,000 meals (my goal was 7,735), my 8th birthday I had a goal of 8,888 and I blew it out of the water by raising over 10,000 meals! Last year I on my 9th Birthday I raised a re- cord breaking 15,700 meals!” Billy Bartz from REFB says ‘Memphis has set the bar in- credibly high for what a Food and fund drive can look like. He is an innovator. He is a mo- tivator.’ I feel like I’ve made a


... continued on page 6


Publishers Note: We are proud to announce a new addition to the Upbeat Times called Upbeat Auto. The fi rst Column starts in April! We met Bill on a recent fl ight to Portland where we had a great conversation about his vocation. Turns out he is a former publisher from Northern California also and now retired, but decided to stay busy. We warmly welcome them!


ABOUT BILL & BARBARA Bill


and Barbara Schaffer


have been reviewing new cars for more than 24 years. It all started when Bill was looking for an automotive column for the twice-weekly newspaper he was publishing in Central Ore- gon. He didn’t fi nd what he was looking for, so Barbara said,


“Why don’t you write one?” Soon they were both writing and they currently do two new car reviews each week. Auto manufacturers bring them two new vehicles each week, which they drive for a week to review. As one of the few husband wife teams writing about cars in this country, their stories offer a fresh prospective from two points of view. They don’t write to show readers how much they know or tell them how fast they can drive, rather their stories give an honest im- pression of what each of the ve- hicles is like to drive. In addition, each year, the


Schaffer’s go to 30 to 40 new car introductions.


them a chance to talk to the people


who - From 1982- Sebastopol Times & News (one of the fi rst Sigmond’s ever published) design,


This gives engi-


... continued on page 8


Sanity is madness put to


good uses. George Santayana


The Upbeat Times Mission Statement: By publishing the contents of this newspaper every month, it is our main goal to inspire, preserve and promote the positive characteristics, at- tributes and attitudes of all citizens of every age in our communities and the world we live in.


by PAUL ANDREW DOYLE PUNS


I’m glad I know sign language, it’s pretty handy.


A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.


I think Santa has riverfront prop- erty in Brazil. All our presents came from Amazon this year.


2 • March 2015 • UPBEAT TIMES The only sure thing about luck is that it will change. ~Wilson Mizner


©2015 Sigmond. A PAD Studio production.


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