Parenting Humor
Children and Headaches by Gabriel A. Fraire ~
gafraire@comcast.net
Healdsburg, CA. ~ Imagine having a horrible head- ache and having to deal with children, cook eggs for them or how about mixing a nice tuna salad sandwich, it is a real chal- lenge. My cousin said when he was sick he thought of using a video as a babysitter. He forgot that his kids would fi ght over which vid- eo, the older one screaming, the younger one crying or was it the other way around. So, he picked the movie. “All right, you guys watch while dad takes a little rest. All right?” “All right.” Children have a different con- cept of “little”. To them ten sec- onds should be suffi cient rest for any dad. “She sat in my place.” “No I didn’t.” “Yes you did.” SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU is what went through his head but being a “cool” dad he couldn’t say that. Instead he said, “If you two can’t work this out then I’m going to turn the video off.”..............“TURN IT OFF.” The kids yelled.
Parental Train-
ing Lesson 3320: Idle bluffs are silly things.
So he tried the next best thing, a bribe. He kept thinking if he could just get them to settle down a bit he might survive. He said, “Look, if you guys will just be quiet and play
nice, I’ll treat you to ice cream later.”
“Can Julie come with us?” “Who’s Julie?” The father re- plied. “She’s coming over to play this afternoon with her two sisters. Mommy made all the arrangements yesterday.” Now imagine having a horrible head- ache and having to deal with children that are not even your own.
Gabriel A. Fraire has been a writer more than 40 years. He is also the current Healdsburg Literary Laureate. He can be
reached through his Web site at:
www.gabrielfraire.com
UPBEAT TIMES • March 2015 • 11
JOKES & Humor # 5 A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a goat in the front seat. “What are you doing with that goat?” He exclaimed, “You should take it to the zoo.” The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the goat again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sun- glasses. The policeman pulls him over. “I thought you were going to take that goat to the zoo!” The man replied, “I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!”
The Long and Short of It: Tips for Successful Essay and Memoir
SANTA ROSA, CA. ~ Writ- ing teacher and editor Susan Bono will discuss key concepts of essay and memoir writing at the Sunday, April 12 meet- ing of Redwood Writers
3-5 p.m. at the Flamingo Hotel, 2777 Fourth St., Santa Rosa. Admission is $5 for members, $8 for nonmembers. For more information, go to
www.red-
woodwriters.org.
Life is the sum of all your choices. ~Albert Camus from
202 West 7th St. Santa Rosa, CA 95401 707-545-7528
UPBEAT TIMES • March 2015 • 11
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