6 • January 2014 • UPBEAT TIMES


Redwood Empire Guest Writers Learning Family Team #1


SANTA ROSA, CA. ~ The next contributions I have for the Upbeat Times will attempt to make it clear to everyone how easy and valuable it is to view your family as a learning team.


This article intends to look as some aspects of teams in general and encourages you to


relate those


aspects to your family, whether it is a team at work, men’s group, a danc- ing community, a mom, a dad and two kids or whatever.


dad and children. The third


article in the series will look at the family containing aging parents and adult children. First simple definitions, A TEAM is a group of people working together for common goals. Members of a team hone their own strengths and complement the strengths of the other members. LEARNING is the bringing in of informa- tion,


linking My


intention is to suggest ways in which you can celebrate all the productive things happen- ing in your family, and to offer some ways in which you might increase the joy and engagement of your family. Next month’s article will deal specifically with the dynamics of the classic family: mom,


that informa- tion to what is already known and using it. A Learning (family)


team strives to increase the


learning of each member and thus make the team function effectively and joyously while achieving its goals. Regardless of which “fam-


ily” you belong to there are some basics that will almost always apply to make your


team more effective and joy- ous.


First is a commitment to


allowing family members to be who they are as long as they are not hurting them- selves or others. This means constantly learning about your team members and being at rest with the fact that they are not you. We learn about other humans mostly be getting out of our expectations and into observation with a secure feel- ing that different is not bad. Learning about other people is so fun! All you have to do is watch and listen carefully without interpretation. If you are interested in why someone is some way, just ask…don’t suppose. My favorite queries are “What is it about that that you like?” and “Tell me about doing that.”


The second general idea is to


allow other people to change. Throughout our lives our bod- ies and brains develop and change. Our likes and dislikes may change,


our interests may wander, we may get tired UPBEAT TIMES • January 2014 • 6


Weird Facts & Fun Trivia - 2 Supposedly created by


by Chance Massaro, M.A. • powcom@sonic.net


of one thing then fired up about another; we fall in and out of love, live at different speeds and have new ways of contributing. This sugges- tion is especially worthwhile when a team member wants to change. Then we give room and explore ways of support- ing one another.


The third suggestion is


to give as much feedback as the person can stand WITH LOVE. Feedback is the break- fast of champions and clear, factual feedback is the fuel of the successful. Whenever someone does something that works, let them know you noticed.


Whenever someone


does something that doesn’t work, ask them if they want feedback. If they do simply state what you saw or heard them do as constructively as possible. If they don’t, let them be. So here are some questions for you to chew on until your next issue of the Times. What


... continued on page 17


Victor Bergeron, owner of the original Trader Vic's. When served to some Tahitian friends, they exclaimed 'Mai tai' mean- ing 'out of this world'. Light and dark rums, Curaçao, lime juice, orgeat syrup and grenadine.


Lemonade was a favorite of the Chinese Emperors. Lemons made their way to the United States with the help of Catholic Missionaries and were planted in Arizona and California.


There are two different types of lemons — acid and sweet. The most com- mon acid varieties include Eurekas and Lisbons. The acidic type is grown com- mercially and the sweet types are grown mainly by home gardeners. The trees bloom continuously all year and can produce up to 500 or 600 lemons a year.


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6 • January 2014 • UPBEAT TIMES


There must be more to life than having everything! ~Maurice Sendak


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