RELATING – A Second Language by Kimble Greene, PhD


The Basics… We thrive as human beings when we relate well to others, to nature, to the unseen, to the world around us, and to OURSELVES. Relating is an integral, holistic aspect of your human experience, and therefore, as much a biological phenomenon as it is social, emotional and spiritual. Relating is not just something you do; it is part of your hard- wiring as a living being; it is what makes you human. The perception that we are individuals, separate from one another, from all living things in general, is an illusion. The holistic experience of a human being is not carried out in a vacuum – it is an accumulation of a lifetime of experiences in the context of a world filled with life within and beyond one’s own existence. Relating is at the core of every religious, spiritual and cultural system of belief. How we communicate and relate is determined by each individual, each and every moment.


“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” Peter F. Drucker


We are all connected through our thoughts, feelings and energy. Our potential for higher, more compassionate levels of communication through relating is infinite. In other words, when you focus on aspects of your existence other than the physical realm, including the material details of your life, you open your Self to new perspectives, understanding, intuitive knowing and insights. Authentic communication lies not in your actions and words, but in your thoughts and intentions. Relating is how we discover


ourselves, others and the world around us. How you relate and communicate fundamentally shapes your world as well as the world around you. Every


4 The Door Opener


moment of your life contributes to the grand scheme of evolution, yours and the universe. Years ago, I came across a poem in a novel I was reading that struck me as profoundly relevant to what seems to be missing in how we communicate. The poem reads as follows:


If you could cross the ice floes and keep heading North and pass through a wall of circling winds, you would get to a place where people love one another and know neither enmity nor spite. Those people have only one leg each, and nobody can move independently, but they love each other and walk around embracing and loving. The more they love, the tighter they embrace and the better they can walk and even run, faster than the wind. But when they stop loving, they immediately stop embracing and they die. When they love they can achieve miracles. (Red Snow, Topol, 1986)


Relating not only provides a vehicle for connecting outward toward every living thing, but it is a mechanism as well for the expression of your spirit or soul. Relating is both an outward and


inward means of communication. How we relate to our core Self reflects how we relate to and communicate with the world around us. When you view your Self as lovable and valuable, your communication with others reflects loving acceptance. When your self-view is judgmental and devaluing, this message is also reflected in your communication with others. Most of us are familiar with the age-old declaration “You are what you eat” – when translated in terms of relating, it becomes, “You are what you think and feel.”


It’s All About YOU… The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.” Anthony Robbins


Relationships, and how you manage relationships, are the foundations for personal


and interpersonal growth.


How you communicate within those relationships often determines how your life transforms from moment to moment; from one experience to the next; from past to present to future. We communicate every second to things, people, ourselves and to the nonphysical world. How you convey your thoughts and feelings shapes your world. This is often referred to as “relational consciousness.” Are


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