The Most Important Relationship
by Rev. Tiffany White Sage Woman
The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. This may seem odd when you first ponder this, however, we all have learned this important way of being from our relationships with others. We often attract people into our lives that mirror our
own vibration. If you are depressed, you will attract depressed people and experiences in your life. If you are angry, you will attract angry people and experiences that upset and anger you. If you question your self worth…yep, guess what kind of people and experiences you are bringing to you? Until we realize this, it can seem that we have a blinking light on our foreheads attracting all kinds of strange people and experiences to ourselves.
Just like our emotions are important, so are these people and experiences. They are very valuable spiritual tools. Do you react to your emotions or respond to them? Reacting is very easy to do and is also very contagious. A reaction is spontaneous and lacks a pause or reflection. Let’s use the world’s current events as an example. The news can make one very mad, upset and even depressed. Your reaction is an alarm that goes off within you, alerting your mind, body and soul that this emotion or situation needs attention. If you dwell too long in the reaction phase… you give more power to energies that are meant to only be temporary. Complaining is finding faults. Wisdom is finding solutions Responding is immediately recognizing that the ‘alarm’
was activated and we ask ourselves some very important and insightful questions: Why am I reacting this way? Does this situation feel familiar? Does it make me feel helpless or violated? What can I do to change this? The act of responding requires one to look at their situation and identify the problem or disharmony. This reflection can be for a moment, five seconds, one hour, two days or longer. The time frame doesn’t matter. The important thing is that you have stopped and put an effort to suspend judgment by observing and having inner dialog with yourself. This pause or reflection between the circumstance and your behavior is what contributes to gaining a sense of command in your life. The key is that pause, that instant recognition which allows us to bring something that may be negative into a more positive light to examine it better. Now, I am not talking about going from one extreme to another, no. It is more about balance. Despite the power of positive thinking, it’s okay to explore negative reactions if that is how you really feel. Just don’t get
16 The Door Opener
stuck there! Yes, being “positive” is indeed powerful...but not everyone has the same definition of positive. Is foolish optimism the same as being positive? Do you say ‘Yes’ to every new proposal for fear of being thought of as negative? Once we get to the root of our reactions, we can start to know ourselves better and get in touch with not only our own truth but the Divine Truth as well. Once you become familiar with responding instead of reacting, you can actually have a choice in the matter, and will start to realize that you are able to make better decisions.
Being honest and truthful with ourselves is often a difficult task. Arthur Schopenhauer, German Philosopher (1788-1860), is quoted for saying, “All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.” This can certainly relate to how we react to truth, within society and within ourselves. What we repeat and reinforce within us becomes our
truth. So, if you are reinforcing failure and fear and keep seeing its outcome, then it is time to stop that looped recording. Identifying the triggers of failure and fear will help us to forgive, heal and move forward in a more balanced way of being. You will soon appreciate those difficult people and situations that cross your path. Yes, I said appreciate and be grateful for them. No, you aren’t being punished nor did you do anything wrong. When you find yourself in an upsetting situation, the person you perceive as causing it
is your
greatest teacher at that moment. Ask yourself, “What lesson am I learning from this person and situation?” That person is teaching you that you have not yet mastered yourself. By practicing the pause of response, you will learn how to choose peace as your button is being pushed. Know thyself is a very powerful tool that transforms reactions into responses. Be gentle, kind, compassionate and loving to yourself.
You are a Divine, Spiritual Being having a human experience. Your body is a sacred temple and at your Heart Center is where God/Creator/Oneness lives… “within”… within each of us. Your relationship with yourself is very transforming! Your transformed self then inspires and affects everyone else as well. Everyone meaning All Beings, including animals, Nature and Earth. As within, so without. As without so within. As above so below, as below, so above. The Universe reciprocates your every action, mirrors your intent back to you as you are a mirror to others. Now, more than ever, it is very important that we take precious moments for ourselves. I do find that those we give a lot have to really be disciplined in meditation or Quiet Time. Too often we say to others, or even to ourselves, “In a few minutes I will take a break.” Those minutes then turn to hours and by the end of the day…whew, where did the time go? I missed meditation today… oh well, I still feel great, so I will be okay. We may keep moving forward until we energetically shut down. We immediately know why we shut down and make
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