Celebrating Mister In-Between
by Dorry Bless
Nothing is secure but life, transition, the energizing spirit. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
F
rom the time Norman Vincent Peale’s bestselling book, The Power of Positive Thinking, was published in 1953, through the suc- cess of Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret, mounting attention has been paid to the notion that positive thoughts can be powerful magnets to attract health, wealth and lasting fulfillment. Still, American society as a whole seems addicted to the paradigm of achieving success and finding happiness—and getting there as quickly as possible. As a result, we sometimes attribute fault to or lose patience with those that are mired in life’s “in-between” times.
Instead of savoring the unknown
when our life is changing, we choose to focus on what we hope is waiting on the other side, rushing through transitional periods because they are the times when we feel confused and uncertain. The in-between is the space where boundaries dissolve and we find ourselves figuratively poised between one steppingstone and the next.
Rites of Passage From childhood, we have been con- ditioned to think that progress means getting where we’re going, and con- temporary technology reinforces this
attitude. As a result, we do our best to avoid discomfort, doubt and indecision. European Ethnologist Arnold van Gen- nep, best known for his studies on the rites of passage in different cultures, de- scribes “liminal space” as the threshold at which a person is leaving one level of status and entering another. Often, when people think of some of the in-between times in their life—such as contemplating a career change, realizing a relationship is ending or experiencing the heartbreak of sitting at a parent’s hospice bed- side—they feel it is no longer possible to maintain their identity in the same familiar way. During uncomfortable periods shadowed by the unknown no one is there to say: “Stop and rest. Wel- come this time. Pay attention. There are riches here to unearth. This in-between time is precious and beautiful, too.” Unlike Johnny Mercer’s advice in his song lyric; “You’ve got to accentu- ate the positive, eliminate the nega- tive, latch on to the affirmative and… don’t mess with Mr. In-Between,” we can choose to honor “Mr. In-Between” by celebrating these recurring natural periods of significant change with per- sonalized ritual and ceremony.
In-Between Rituals Help When experiencing a change of status, consciously shifting one’s energy can be useful in opening thought to a new way of being. Here are just some examples.
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