Turf Side Up TURF SIDE UP! The not so serious side of the industry If you were King for a day?
IN the run-up to the Diamond Jubilee celebrations, BBC’S One Show interviewed the public at various castle locations around the UK asking them “what would you do if you were King or Queen for a day?”
So, imagine our surprise when a familiar face popped up outside Caernarfon Castle - none other that Stuart Yarwood, Head Greenkeeper at Lymm Golf Club and oft contributor to this magazine.
Resplendent in a regal crown, waving the Welsh flag, and with a toy corgi on his shoulder, he certainly looked the part (have I spelt that correctly?).
Fixing a hole - Birt style
WHEN umpire, Aleem Dar, called the Trent Bridge groundstaff on to fix a hole on the bowlers run up during the second Test against the Windies, Head Groundsman, Steve Birt, and his team rushed on with a turf doctor, bucket of water, whacker, lump hammer and a bag of Ongar loam.
©BBC
And what was his answer? “If I was King for a day, I would ban health and safety and let all adults climb trees and catch insects and stuff.”
Err, nice one Stuart! Avoiding a ticking off!
DIVERS were called in to retrieve a golfer’s watch and wedding ring after his bag, clubs and trolley plunged into a lake during a gust of wind.
Alan Neill was playing the final hole at the Ryder Cup 2010 course at Celtic Manor in Newport at the time.
The 39-year-old from Gloucester watched as the wind blew the trolley down a bank and into the lake.
The bag was saved, but the valuables were lost. Mr Neill used a bunker rake to retrieve his golf bag, minus the trolley and several irons.
He found his mobile phone, but a £1,500 watch and his wedding ring were nowhere to be seen.
“I even stripped down to my boxer shorts and went in looking for them,” said Mr Neill. “I did manage to find five or six of my missing golf clubs, but it was absolutely freezing; too cold to stay in for more than a few minutes.”
“I was losing hope and thought our attempts to find the watch and the wedding ring might have buried them
144 PC JUNE/JULY 2012
As you might expect, commentator David ‘Bumble’ Lloyd - possibly viewing these strange objects for the first time ever - started waxing lyrical about geraniums, hyacinths, sweet peas and potatoes, whilst not having a clue what was going on. Botham just moaned; there’s a surprise!
It took a good five minutes to repair the offending hole,
©Sky Sports
and a good job was done, as it stayed intact throught the evening session, with Bumble adding to his commentatory skills by including “mind the potatoes” as the bowler ran up.
When it happened for a second time at the other end, our Beefy went off the scale!
No, four candles ...
FORGET all those girlie fragrances, here’s the perfect gift for the man who has everything.
©BBC further under the sludge.”
Greenkeepers took over the search in the morning but it yielded nothing, apart from golf balls.
The Cynon Valley Sub Aqua Club were called in to help and, after a couple of hours searching, advanced diver Howard Lewis was able to find the watch and wedding ring with the help of underwater metal detecting equipment.
“The watch is quite valuable, but I was most worried about losing the wedding ring,” Mr Neill said. “Most things are replaceable, but a wedding ring is not. We’re celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary in September, so it feels great to have the ring back.”
The watch is still ticking and, fortunately, his wife is not!
Mandles are an American company who have brought out a range of scented candles for men. Forget your white freesia or jasmin, these are ‘real man’ fragrances.
Choose from sawn timber, fresh earth, meat and potatoes, keg beer, leather and, of course, freshly mown grass - all will set a romantic tone for your evening in.
And there’s plenty more to delight the senses. How could your partner not be swooning at bass killer,
campfire smoke, auto shop or cigar butts, although you may be pushing your luck lighting a ‘stripper’s mouth’ - mint, apparently!
Available in 4 and 8oz tins! Application for employment
I REFER to the recent death of the Technical Manager at your company and hereby apply for the replacement of the deceased manager.
Each time I apply for a job, I get a reply that there is no vacancy but, in this case, I have caught you red-handed and you have no excuse
because I even attended the funeral to be sure that he was truly dead and buried before applying.
Attached to my letter is a copy of my CV and his death certificate.
Thank you and good morning.
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