healthykids
Mom-to-Mom WISDOM
Calming Advice for More ‘Good Days’ with Fretful Kids
by Beth Davis P
arenting has more than its share of stressful challenges, and today’s moms are often frustrated by con- flicting advice. As families search for an- swers to daily issues, a more holistic and natural approach, known as conscious parenting, has been gaining momentum. According to Lori Petro, founder of TEACH through Love, a child advo- cacy group and educational resource for progressive parents, conscious parent- ing comprises the spirit of cooperation, instead of traditional models of discipline and control. “We want to teach our chil- dren how to live in the world, explore, be creative, compassionate, learn appropri- ate expressions of emotion and think for themselves,” she says.
To help maximize the rewards for
all, Natural Awakenings asked several forward-thinking moms for their best tips on how to handle some of parent- ing’s biggest challenges.
Surviving the First Year As a certified Happiest Baby educator, mother of three and owner of Gummy Giggles Baby Boutique, in Yukon, Okla- homa, Lori Simmons provides parents with essential tools and knowledge to help calm unhappy babies. She notes that while dealing with a crying infant is simply part of being a parent, colic is a condition moms dread the most. Making the baby feel as if he or she is still in the womb is key, she advises. “People try to not make any noise, but the reality is, babies often cry because it’s too silent.” She recommends swad-
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dling the baby, swaying and shushing quietly in the baby’s ear—all to mimic the comforts of the womb.
The best advice that she gives any new parent is that it’s okay not to know everything. “Just listen to your instincts and understand that each child will learn and grow at his or her own pace,” she says. “Most importantly, relax and don’t sweat the small stuff.”
Weathering Toddler Meltdowns
Petro says we can better meet the challenges of these years—including temper tantrums, biting, toilet training and sleep problems—if we understand these situations in the context of a child’s development. During early growth, exploration and change, children typically have trouble expressing their thoughts and feelings, and that can prove overwhelming for everyone. So, what can adults do in the middle of a toddler meltdown? First, remember that it’s the rare parent that hasn’t had to deal with a tired, cranky, screaming tod- dler. Simmons admits to having handled her share of tantrums. “They don’t understand their own frustration, so it’s difficult for parents to understand the reason for outbursts,” she observes. Her strategy is to take the stressed child out of the situation.
It helps to know that some hitting and biting is considered normal for tod-
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dlers, especially if they see it as an effec- tive way to get what they want. Parents can put an end to it much the same way they deal with other inappropriate behav- ior, advises Petro. She suggests remain- ing calm, finding the root cause of the situation and acknowledging the child’s feelings and needs. Understanding why the child is doing it is crucial to making it stop. “Conscious parenting operates from the premise that all behavior is commu- nication to meet a need,” she says.
Addressing Adolescence According to Certified Life Coach Clare Seffrin Bond, although the adolescent years can be difficult, there’s plenty that parents can do to nurture teens and encourage respon- sible behavior. “The best parenting advice I ever received was from my mom, who encouraged me to grow into parenthood—taking it day by day, without the expectation that I would be proficient simply through the act of
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