The best advice that she gives any new parent is that it’s okay not to know everything. “Just listen to
your instincts and understand that each child will learn and
grow at his or her own pace,” she says.
“Most importantly,
relax and don’t sweat the small stuff.”
The best advice that she gives any new parent is that it’s okay not to know everything. “Just listen to your instincts and understand that each child will learn and grow at his or her own pace,” she says. “Most importantly, relax and don’t sweat the small stuff.”
Weathering Toddler Meltdowns Petro says we can better meet the chal- lenges of these years—including temper tantrums, biting, toilet training and sleep problems—if we understand these situations in the context of a child’s development. During early growth, ex- ploration and change, children typically have trouble expressing their thoughts and feelings, and that can prove over- whelming for everyone. So, what can adults do in the middle of a toddler meltdown? First, remember that it’s the rare parent that hasn’t had to deal with a tired, cranky, screaming toddler. Simmons admits to having handled her share of tantrums. “They don’t understand their own frustration, so it’s difficult for parents to understand the reason for outbursts,” she observes. Her strategy is to take the stressed child out of the situation. It helps to know that some hit- ting and biting is considered normal for
toddlers, especially if they see it as an ef- fective way to get what they want. Parents can put an end to it much the same way they deal with other inappropriate behav- ior, advises Petro. She suggests remain- ing calm, finding the root cause of the situation and acknowledging the child’s feelings and needs. Understanding why the child is doing it is crucial to making it stop. “Conscious parenting operates from the premise that all behavior is commu- nication to meet a need,” she says.
Addressing Adolescence According to Certified Life Coach Clare Seffrin Bond, although the adolescent years can be difficult, there’s plenty that parents can do to nurture teens and encourage responsible behavior. “The best parenting advice I ever received was from my mom, who encouraged me to grow into parenthood—taking it day by day, without the expectation that I would be proficient simply through the act of giving birth,” says this mother of two, in Richmond, Indiana. Rewarding relationships come through accepting the notion that children are individuals living their own
journey, rather than extensions of their parents. “What parents see or feel in a situation is not necessarily what the child is experiencing,” Bond explains. “Taking the time to recognize the fact of individual realities can be huge in re- thinking one’s approach to discipline.” She recommends speaking to adolescents honestly—even when it’s painful—and listening to them, even when we may not want to hear, or believe, what they’re saying. “Stay in touch with the fact that your relation- ship with your children is absolutely huge in terms of their—and your— development as a happy and fulfilled person,” counsels Bond. “Work hard at remembering your own teen years, including the frustrations and disap- pointments. Empathy and respect are essential ingredients in successful human relationships at every age.” To connect with Lori Petro, visit
Teach-Through-Love.com; for Lori Sim- mons,
GummyGiggles.com; and Clare Seffrin Bond,
TheRoadToClarity.com.
Beth Davis is a contributing writer to Natural Awakenings. natural awakenings May 2012 27
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