and fasting protocol, every drug and liquid promising to be the ultimate an- swer to losing weight and keeping it off. She believed each promise, not know- ing she was an addict and these plans would only aggravate her condition. She also drank alcohol during dieting and on an empty stomach. Drinking helped her avoid eating. She hated the taste but liked the feeling of the alcohol and loved the high feeling of not eating. Every diet was followed by binging. Every binge began with the promise to starve the next day. She weighed herself several times a day, after vomiting and after the laxa- tives did their job. How she felt about herself depended upon whether the scale showed loss or gain. She dreaded visitors seeing her food stash or any evidence of her clandestine life. A life barely lived – wearily bandied by the tumultuous tides of binging, purging, restricting, over exercising and immobility, isolating and socializing.
During the course therapy she continued to learn about the serious and complex nature of her illness, which worsened over time. Her self-obsession was a powerful influence upon the progression of the disorder. Her mind focused on her body, looks, what she could and could not eat, situations, or lack of situations, ad infinitum. It was time to focus on her emergence into a life worth living. It was time to define her beliefs and actions and shape them into the self-supporting pillars of her identity. She never worked so hard at anything in her life. Nor had she ever known such enduring and remarkably beneficial results. The therapist organized her goals into seven steps: 1) Correct view of food and self.
She was not a fixed entity but an or- ganic, changing woman with inherent wisdom who could decide to live well and do what it takes to do so: a) Accept that she had an illness of
mind, body and spirit which she tried to control and dominate. The more she tried the more ill she became. b) Counteract feelings of shame with compassion for herself and others with the same affliction. c) Approach food as medicine and no longer an intoxicant. The most difficult part was acknowledging the addictive qualities (emotionally and
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physically) of certain foods (i.e. animal products, sugar and flour) and the need to abstain from them. Substance abusers do not have to live with nor consume drugs or alcohol to live. Food addicts, though, are enticed daily. They have to shop for, prepare or cook, store, eat and live with their drug. d) Identify and make peace with the feelings she voraciously ate to avoid. This healing of view created an inner calm and a newfound freedom. 2) Clear Intention. She developed clear intention for her approach to eating as life-supporting. 3) Clear speech. She became
aware of her speech and that it reflected her authenticity. Her intentions and speech now match her beliefs and di- rect her actions. She works consistently at saying what she means and meaning what she says!
4) Mindful action. She practices being conscious about her actions and cultivating appropriate responses to certain situations. She carries a cache of reliable tools in her mind to help her refrain from acting in old and harmful ways. She has friends to call, a quote to repeat like a mantra, a prayer to strengthen her resolve when she feels weak. She pre-plans her meals so as not to be caught off guard against her strong desires to give in “…just this time…” She consistently attends Overeater’s
Anonymous and works that program of recovery with others. She knows her compulsive eating is a disease of secrecy and isolation and the condition of her wellness is interdependent with the sup- port of others. 5) Apply effort towards maintain-
ing health. She acknowledges resis- tance when it arises and counters it with clear visualizations of her life in well- ness. She stays with her plan for eating and exercises moderately and regularly, doing what she always loved – dancing and yoga. 6) Practice meditation. Her
meditation practice cultivates mindful- ness – ensuring her commitment to her intention. She meditates daily – devel- oping inner peace. 7) Daily Remembrance. She
remembers where she came from and practices relating to her body as her vehicle for living – not her authentic identity. “Peace comes from within. Do not
seek it without.” ~ Buddha
Malerie Bleich, LMHC is an eating disorders and substance abuse psycho- therapist with over 25 years experience in the field of addictions and mental health. For a free list of eating disorders symptoms, visit
MalerieBleich.com or email
Malerie@MalerieBleich.com. See ad page 50.
natural awakenings May 2012 23
佛 州 中 醫 學 院
Florida College of Integrative Medicine
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