by jizzona straynger & lady vajayjay
rino’s show in Vegas is a must-see this summer! I had a little time off and needed to escape the West Coast for a few days. I hopped over to NYC to meet my mother and a few of her Pentecostal church ladies for a night at the theatre. Now the only reason I’m bringing this up is because I am a showgirl, no doubt, but I’ve never been to a real Broadway show! The church ladies and I sat for an evening of The Phantom of the Opera. Un-freakin’-believable! If you ever have the chance to go to the Big Apple’s Phantom, which is the longest running show on Broadway, it will knock your knickers off. Be sure to leave the church ladies at home, kind of a buzzkill. What about you lady, what’s been keeping your nose clean? Lady VaJayJay: There’s no fun in clean noses, you may have bought a new
one recently, but you know you like it dirty! Jizzona: You know that’s right! Lady VaJayJay: Well, if you can believe this, I’m going to be back in the O.C.
at The Frat House performing with the lovely Bella Farrow. Showtime is 10:30 on Thursdays! You gotta love The Frat House and all their sexy Latinos, yes sir! And speaking of Latinos, I can’t seem to get enough this month! A lot of great girls will be performing every Sunday at 5 p.m. at Club Tempo in Hollywood. We have a special event coming up on Sunday, April 8 where we are going to be searching for this year’s Mr. Spanish Cowboy. Grab your ass-less chaps and your hat and show us your two-step I do need to make a correction to last month’s column, my Asian ass is still
working on my Inglish and riting skillz. I mistakenly misspelled a few names. My sincere apologies to Atari Warhol, Daniel DiCriscio and Anatomy is Destiny. Jizzona: Mess girl, mess! Lady VaJayJay: On Tuesday, April 10, Golden West College will be hosting a
fundraiser benefiting the Student Gay and Lesbian Club. Jizzona: Well we know you like ‘em young, creeper. Lady VaJayJay: You know me too well! Whatever I can do to support a new
ADVENTURES JIZZONA & LADY VAJAYJAY’S Jizzona: Sweet Jesus! Is it tornado season already? I cannot believe it is
already April! Time flies when you’re having fun or being a whore, and I think we know about both! Lady VaJayJay: You said it sister! I’ve been hard at it all month! Jizzona: Ha ha, you said hard. I bet those half-price rooms on Mondays at
the Melrose Spa are coming in handy for your business “adventures.” Or maybe missadventures is more like it. Well, enough about your proselytizing of WeHo, I’ve been flying my lady parts from coast to coast like crazy this last month! I stopped by Las Vegas and enjoyed an afternoon and pure heavenly naked-
ness at the Blue Moon Gay Resort. Now I’m a little shy exposing my moon, if you will, but I finally found me a man with a hot body, and one I don’t mind showing off; I still need to lay off the buffets! The only issue—no bar. Now we all know that everyone looks better naked with a few stiff drinks, honey, but be sure to BYOB if you plan to make a stop at the Blue Moon. There are plans for a bar in the very near future so you might be better calling ahead! Oh, and don’t miss the fabulous Tea Dance every Sunday afternoon! I also had the opportunity to meet the fabulous Frank Marino of Divas Las
Vegas. Now I know we’ve seen a lot of drag shows, but nothing tops what Frank has crafted in Sin City. The 75-minute drag review is one of the longest-running shows on the Strip. If you’re a drag fan, and I hope you are if reading this, Ma-
66 RAGE monthly | APRIL 2012
gaybie! While we’re raising funds, I’ll also be joining the boys of Archer Boinkev- ents for another great fundraiser in Santa Ana on Saturday, May 26 in honor of Harvey Milk Day! Mark your calendars and stay tuned for that! Jizzona: Well aren’t you a busy as a one-legged dog at the races!? And raising money too; working on those jewels for your crown I see. I had a few events I wanted to mention as well. Monday, April 2, Del Shores
teams up with Damaso Rodriguez for the World premiere of Matthew Leavitt’s The Boomerang Effect! The show will run through April 29 at The Odyssey The- atre in L.A. You know I love my booze! Three Seventy Common in Laguna Beach will be
offering a mystery brown bagged bottle of wine for $15 with your dinner order! Can’t beat a good surprise. Lady VaJayJay: While we’re on the subject of booze honey, don’t forget to
get out to The Silver Fox in Long Beach for 2’Fer Tuesdays! Every second beer, well or call is only 25 cents, now that’s a bargain! Jizzona: It is a recession, every penny counts honey. Those wigs aren’t cheap! Lady VaJayJay: You know that’s right. Speaking of wigs, we’ve got to give
some props to Outfitter Wig for some awesome designs and to Richard Bow- man and Connie Harris for some wonderful costumes. Jizzona: Now that your commercial is over, we can rock this month like a bad
case of VD! Stay calm and carry on folks! See you at the beach!!
KISSES ON YOUR PINK PARTS POODLES! Jizzona Straynger & Lady VaJayJay
Jizzona.com /
LadyVaJayJay.com
photography by Sue Cassidy
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