L.A. or N.Y. by jeffrey hartinger
fter spending close to a year living in Los Angeles, I was offered a position with a marketing firm in Manhattan and I jumped at the op- portunity. Although Southern California is a beautiful and remark-
able place, the “L.A. lifestyle” that is often portrayed in television and movies is present, but as a young adult—particularly one who is interested in making friends and dating—there are many roadblocks and hurdles one has to master if they are a transplant to the West Coast. I believe that as a 23-year-old starting a career, my dating and love life should
not be a main component of my existence; going out for dinner, meeting for drinks and having that occasional blind date, should be aspects of city living that occur as I transition from casual dating to a potential serious relationship. They are occurrences that should be fun, lighthearted and easy. While I was living in Los Angeles, it seemed that even meeting for a drink
turned into a hassle; one that is often costly and quite honestly, annoying. Meet- ing a date who lived in Santa Monica for a cocktail turned into a four hour ordeal that included close to two hours in traffic, $15 for parking, and stifled conversa- tion as we were both exhausted from our day at work and frustrated the minor obstacles it took to make the date possible. Sure, New York City is often deemed a transient and cold city, but maybe those “unlucky in love” who complain that the Big Apple is a terrible place to find a
mate may be single for a reason. To be clear; dating a wide range of people and having no resulting relationship does not make a person unsuccessful. It actu- ally makes one more in touch with what they are or are not looking for from a potential suitor. As I settle in the largest U.S. city, I am not looking for dates to sweep me off my
feet on a rooftop bar, or for a guy to recreate cliché movie moments from roman- tic comedies. But I look forward to the ease of getting out of work, catching a subway, and meeting a crush in Greenwich Village or Hell’s Kitchen for a happy hour. Over the years, I have come to realize that if a date does not go well or there is no connection, it is actually quite alright to build a friendship with that person; which I consider even truer for those who are part of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender community. It is often said that those in the N.Y.C. dating scene are always looking for the
next best thing. Whether true or not, the best you can do is to go with the flow and take life and dating as it comes. And to the guy from the Silver Lake area of Los Angeles; if you are reading this, I am sorry that I tried to jump out the bath- room window of the restaurant ,during our date when I first moved to California. If you are still wondering—yes, you really are that boring.
Check out Jeffrey’s blog at:
thewhygenerationusa.blogspot.com
“I have come to realize that if a date does not go well or there is no connection, it is actually quite alright to build a friendship with that person.”
IS A DATE STILL JUST A DATE?
28 RAGE RAGE monthly | APRIL 2012 monthly | APRIL 2012
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