Reflections on Working in Development
was desperately needed for her organization to continue the work they have done for 30 years. She felt there was a clear gap in her organization’s ability to implement its programs and I, the guilty Western development worker, could provide it. Her conclusion, obviously, is not always the case in every instance. Although that helped me feel better about what I was
doing, I still oscillated between acceptance and derision of development workers, and aid and development as a whole. In the end, it was the women I worked with that changed my mind about particular aspects of development. My feelings about development remain broad and hard-to-define, but several feelings crystallized within myself when I was in India. First, the women I worked with were mothers from the Red Light District of Mumbai. Part of my job was to go on house visits with
“I have spent hours toiling over whether or not I can ‘do good,’ what that means anyway, and why I am feeling bad about doing good in the first place.”
the Social Workers from my NGO. During these visits I met many women, families and other kin groups who all expressed and impressed upon me the same thing: their unique stories held a similar thread woven through all of humanity. It is the thread of challenge, suffering, despair, hope, resilience, and most of all, the deepest need to be heard and acknowledged. It is the story of humanity. It is the story of us all. In those small moments, development became about seeing each other through our experience on this planet. Secondly, context and realism go hand and hand in ensuring development objectives. One particular mother said to me with tears in her eyes, “I’m so glad you are here. You are here seeing with your own eyes
how I live, we live, how hard I work for my daughter and how hard it is. But also you see how my daughter goes to school, how she succeeds and will continue to do so, you see how we all work towards change.” In that moment, I began to challenge my presumptions about guilt and privilege. Western guilt writ large subsumes the aid and development question, primarily; does it do more harm than good? From my small, unique and contextual turmoil to grand debates by well known intellectuals, there exists a vein of cynicism about development. This cynicism is a result of the history of aid and development. The reactionism and cynicism I experience from the general public and others in the field is both a reflection and symptom of the whole debate. But it is reactionism that often serves no purpose. Balanced discussion combined with a balanced approach is probably a good place to start. From my individual contributions to those of the biggest agencies in the world, we need to focus on the provision of new opportunities and effective things we can do to meet the desperate need that currently exists. My whole issue of ‘feeling bad about doing good’ is really a microcosm of the aid and development debate. I am really feeling bad because there are no easy answers in development. The path to development is trial and error, so there is no safety net, no grand scheme that ensures effective success. There are few guarantees we are actually doing “good”. In the end I realize I am as arrogant and self-centered
as the aid policies everyone is talking about. Because, my work is not about me. It’s about creating symbiotic relationships. It’s about the voices and need of individuals that are being obscured, not heard and therefore not considered in our never-ending debates on aid and development. Need has also been obscured. Need is everywhere and can be anything to anyone. Need encompasses the whole spectrum of human experience. Help and need are a reciprocal process occurring on the smallest to the largest levels of global society. This process plays an integral role in the evolution towards the fulfillment of potential. If I can, in any small way, create that for myself or for others, I am doing ‘good’ and can feel good about it.
// Jodie Baker completed an undergraduate degree in
European Studies, History and Political Science at the University of Toronto and a post-grad in International Development at Humber College. She spent three months in India last fall completing an internship working at the Indian Association for the Promotion of Adoption and Child Welfare. Currently, Jodie is in the midst of starting an NGO and developing a TV show about development.
www.globalgirltravelers.com
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