Handicapped in LA By Astrid Ambroziak
Origin of the word handicap (from the Oxford English Dic- tionary): “mid 17th century: from the phrase ‘hand in cap’;
originally a pastime in which one person claimed an article belong- ing to another and offered something in exchange, any difference in value being decided by an umpire. All three deposited forfeit money in a cap; the two opponents showed their agreement or disagreement with the valuation by bringing out their hands either full or empty. If both were the same, the umpire took the forfeit money; if not, it went to the person who accepted the valuation.”
It is a beautiful, sunny, warm March Saturday morning in
LosAngeles. The birds awakenme by singingMozart outsidemy window. It feels like
spring.My buddy is showing up soon to go hiking in Runyon Canyon Park. He is an avid tri-athlete and a marathon runner. He promised to even our playing field by car- rying a backpack loaded with bottles of water. Even with him givingme this extra chance, I amnot sure if I can keep up.
Handicap, noun(Oxford dictionary): “The extra weight to be
carried in a race by a racehorse on the basis of its previous per- formance to make its chances of winning the same as those of the other horses.”
We make our 10-minute drive to the bottom of the Holly-
woodHills. Parking is difficult, even this early.We choose to park down the hill where there is no restriction and parking is plenti- ful.We start there, and our heart rates go up. On Vista, the street leading to the park gates, parking signs are permit only, unless you have a handicap placard.Handicap – not to even our chances in this hiking competition, but a real, physical handicap. Two things come to mind on seeing all these BMWs, Mer-
cedes-Benzes and Porsches lining the street, all with placards: Either the residents must have lots of handicapped visitors, or the drivers of these cars are up the canyon hiking.
Handicap, noun: (Oxford dic-
tionary): “A condition that markedly restricts a person’s abili- ty to function physically, mental- ly, or socially.”
Yet, they are here and they proudly display those handicap plac- ards on their cars below. I tell Brian that theymust have some sort of a split personal-
ity or inability to function in
society.My friend chooses to be Zen about my comments and points to beautiful lost horizons of the Hollywood Hills.We climb the rest of the way up the canyon to Mulholland Drive.We have reached the crest.
In perfect LA fashion, she ignores me, gets into her car, removes her handicap placard and drives off.
The blue skies and the promise of a wonderful day cause
placard issues to be lost on me for a while. I’m climbing up the canyon and am in the moment. I am here with a world-class ath- lete, carrying on his back 30 pounds of water. I can’t let him see me less than joyful about our task. However, being a proponent of living our lives compassion-
ately and transparently, I am feeling indignant. After getting through the steepest part of the hill and sweating buckets, I can’t help but openmy bigmouth. “Brian, all these people who are climbing this hill, do you
think that any are mentally disabled?” My friend looks at me with surprise and says, “Do you think they look to be mental- ly slow?” I respond that if some of these people are the drivers of the
cars with the handicap placards, they must have some sort of a disability. They all look pretty fit to me. They are in great shape. Many look as if they could be on the cover of a fitness magazine.
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Handicap, noun (Oxford dictionary): “A disadvantage imposed on a superior competitor in sports such as golf, horse racing, and competitive sailing in order to make the chances more equal.”
We run downhill, and I beat
my friend with his heavy back- pack. I get to the bottom of the park first. Brian says: “I let you win because Iwant you to be in a good mood at breakfast.” I don’t
care; I choose to enjoymy glory. We head down Vista back to Franklin Avenue and his car.
More cars are parked on Vista, and every one of themhas a hand- icap placard. Coming down the hill, we see others. Awoman who could
be on the cover of the Sports Illustrated “Swimsuit Edition” is getting into her Jaguar. I ask: “Excuse me, miss, what is your handicap?” In perfect LA fashion, she ignores me, gets into her car, removes her handicap placard and drives off. Not too much farther on I see one sexy pickup truck and an
even sexier guy getting out of it after properly hanging his hand- icap placard. “Excuseme, sir,what is your disability?”He says he has cancer. I say a silent prayer for him, adding “God bless you.” I tell my friend that at least the pickup guy is lucky to look like a tight end for the Green Bay Packers. We keep driving down the hill. Brian implores me to keep
my mouth shut. I want him to be in a good mood and pay for breakfast, so I shut up.We see many more people who parked
Continued on Page 38 Parking Today
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