goes, cranky again! Doesn’t she realize how much I do for her? Some gratitude... how pathetic.” Anyone off on that track would be heading for a really bad mood, and low state of mind, if the thinking continues along that path. “All feelings derive and become alive,
whether negative or positive, from the power of thought.” -The Missing Link by Sydney Banks
Humans are made to take care of others. I just flashed on those wonderful National Geographic images of chimps cleaning ea- chother’s fur, so I guess animals are made to take care of one another too! Sometimes we give 95% and get only 5% in return. Sometimes we give 20% and receive 120% in return. We really don’t need as much attention, confirmation, validation, as we might think. But we will need it if we think we need it!
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” - William Shakespeare
The truth is that even if we think some-
thing, it’s only so, to the degree that we buy into it. Isn’t that great? It means that humans don’t have to bring everything they think to outward expression. We can let a thought go and it will have no effect on us or anyone else, it’s simply a fleeting thought, a blip on the screen of life. What we don’t endorse, won’t affect us. A teacher of mine once said, “You can write a check for a million dollars but it won’t be worth anything more than the paper it was written on unless you endorse it.” The same is true for what we think. We don’t have to endorse any thoughts that are not productive and helpful to think. The answer lies in finding gratitude, maintaining a calm, nice state of mind, and dismissing expectations that creep in about how the other should react, respond, or treat us. That’s dependent upon the other person’s state of mind, not on you. However, you’ll automatically and effortlessly, be more sensi- tive to everyone’s needs if your mind is free of worries, fears, expectations, and what ifs. We have the ability to go in the direction of a clear mind, uncontaminated by personal thought, where we have access to wisdom and common sense. All we can do is put our best foot forward and help as much as we can. The rest is up to nature.
Lori Carpenos, LMFT and her associates offer talks, seminars and retreats for couples and individuals interested in learning more about the Principles behind their experience of life.
www.3Principlestherapy.com. See ad on page 45.
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