Quote me happ Forward THINKING y


Journalist Dick Turner brought his own brand of questioning to Celtic Manor, famously asking Tiger Woods: “You don’t win Majors any more and you’re about to be deposed as world No 1, where’s the Ryder Cup on your agenda now you’re just an ordinary golfer?”


“The US Open felt like playing the back nine at Portrush with my old man compared to that.” Graeme McDowell admitted he was feeling the nerves during his crunch Ryder Cup singles match against Hunter Mahan.


“Have you seen the last six World Cups? Christ, you’re better off going to the dentist.” Sir Alex Ferguson has a moment of humour when comparing the World Cup to the Champions League.


“She looks like a lovely lady.” Martin Tyler is quite taken by new Liverpool owner John W. Henry’s wife after spotting her in the crowd.


“We need more players of that elk.” Ian Wright bemoans the 3-2 defeat of Arsenal by Spurs.


“Into the leak weeding into the first Test” Ian Healy gets tongue tied ahead of the Ashes - immediately followed by, “Chrim Treslett has been very impressive.”


“I don’t know what they think I’m going to do - hit them with a two-footed tackle in the fruit and veg aisles?” John Terry reveals old ladies are scared of him in supermarkets.


“We were kicked off the park and should have had a definite penalty. I’d like to know what the fifth official was doing. The five referees is not an answer to the problem. It is a useless system.” Arsene Wenger takes defeat to Braga in his usual magnanimous way.


“Everybody has great words for the Premier League, but it is a myth. The Premier League is a crap league, it is nothing. In truth the level is shocking. Every team has just three good players. The Bundesliga is far better.” Assistant Manager, Zeljko Petrovic, forgets to turn the lights off on his way out of Upton Park after his dismissal by West Ham.


“Gareth Bale literally has three lungs.” Jamie Redknapp.


“I wanted to take Varney off and put Carney on, but we ended up taking off Crainey. It all got confused. Varney, Carney, Crainey is a tongue-twister.” Blackpool boss Ian Holloway admits he took the wrong player off during the win over Wolves.


Cobbled together from Sky Sports, ESPN Sport and watching far too much television!


Dates for your diary JANUARY


3rd to 7th - Ashes Cricket, 5th Test, Australia v England, Sydney (www.cricketworld.com)


7th - Start of Women’s One Day International Series, Australia v England, Perth (www.cricketworld.com)


8th - Football, FA Cup Third Round, various locations (www.thefa.com/thefacup/)


12th - Start of International Twenty20 Series, Australia v England, Adelaide (www.cricketworld.com)


13th - Essential Management Skills Day 1, Warwick University (www.groundsmantraining.co.uk)


16th - Start of International One Day Series, Australia v England, Melbourne (www.cricketworld.com)


18th to 20th - Harrogate Week (BTME), Harrogate International Centre (www.harrogateweek.org.uk)


FEBRUARY


1st to 3rd - Doe Show, Ulting, Maldon, Essex (www.ernestdoe.com)


3rd - Winter Sports Pitch Maintenance, Warwick University (www.groundsmantraining.co.uk)


6th - American Football, Superbowl, Arlington, Texas (www.nfl.com)


7th to 11th - GCSAA Golf Industry Show, Orlando, Florida (www.golfindustryshow.com)


10th - Bowls Green Maintenance, Harrogate, North Yorkshire (www.groundsmantraining.co.uk)


On your marks... now, where did I put that?


Our Laurence has been writing down his thoughts - very scary for all concerned. Mind you, it shouldn’t be too difficult if you work in cloud cuckoo land!


... the club’s local gamekeeper being their staple diet


I put the photos on a memory stick, but I can’t remember where it is!


They work in cloud cuckoo land


I might have to jiggery poo that one!


They rely on AJ Abbotts for the initial start-up …


We are talking legalalities here


No water can be abstracted outwith these dates


It’s an all in one nutshell ... I wanted to get down my thoughts


... to play has many courses has he possible he can while he still fit and able


17th - Essential Management Skills Day 2, Warwick University (www.groundsmantraining.co.uk)


17th - Winter Sports Pitch Maintenance, Blackburn Rugby Club (www.groundsmantraining.co.uk)


19th - ICC Cricket World Cup begins in India, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh (www.cricketworld.com)


21st to 22nd - Pesticide Application PA1/PA6, Wolverhampton Wanderers FC (www.groundsmantraining.co.uk)


23rd to 27th - Accenture World Match Play, The Ritz-Carlton Golf Club, Arizona, USA (www.pgatour.com)


27th - Carling Cup Final, Wembley Stadium (www.football-league.co.uk)


MARCH


3rd - Winter Sports Pitch Maintenance, Exeter City FC (www.football-league.co.uk)


12th - FA Cup Quarter Finals, various locations (www.thefa.com)


15th to 18th - Cheltenham Festival, Cheltenham Racecourse (www.cheltenham.co.uk)


To add your event to Forward Thinking please email details to


ellie@pitchcare.com and don’t forget that you can add it to Pitchcare’s online calendar yourself! Simply log on to www.pitchcare.com, select ‘Calendar’ in the Home drop down button on the top banner and click on “Add event’ at the top of the page.


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