Jazz, and Dixieland revival, through to New Wave, Drone doom, and Operatic pop all available, there’s something for everyone somewhere on the radio dial. At Sweepfast GHQ, I met up with Dave, who drove the two of us down to Southampton while I attempted to catch up on the missed sleep; it didn’t work. We were told that we should be able to board the ship at 7:30am. We arrived in good time, due in part to Dave’s liberal interpretation of the national speed limit, and partly because the roads where empty. It was 7:30am, so we were bang on schedule, brilliant - or at least it would have been if the ship was in dock. Inside the main terminus building the boarding pass desk was empty, but we were told by an official that boarding passes would be issued once the Queen Elizabeth was dock side, which was scheduled for 9:00am. One and a half hours later, we got our first glimpse of the Queen Elizabeth; helicopters buzzed around it like a swarm of flies, while tug boats sailed in


procession alongside, it was like a flotilla of ugly boats leading the ship to the ugly boat ball. I took a few photos of the incoming ship, but hang on, it wasn’t stopping, it carried on past the dock; “are you sure we’re at the right dock Dave?” I asked. Recalling the wise words of Dad’s Army’s Lance Corporal Jones and the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, ‘don’t panic’, we waited a little longer to see the ship return; it had been turning around further along the harbour. It was at this time we thought we would see if we could get our passes to get on board.


Inside the terminus, a long queue was beginning to form, it comprised the various tradesmen that would put the finishing touches to the ship. We eventually got to the front and were met by a lady of a certain age, in fact most of the employees seemed to be ladies of a certain age; perhaps the WI was running the show? “You can’t get your passes until the ship docks,” the lady said in a polite, but firm manner. “Please wait over


there,” pointing to a far wall as she gave a strained smile. We knew the ship was docking; you couldn’t miss it as it towered above the terminus. One after another, each group of tradesmen in the queue were turned away and told to wait for the ship to dock. The queue was growing at a pace by now, so we jumped back on, as the passes would be issued any time now.


When I finally got my pass, after the form filling and surrender of my passport, I thought “at last, we can get on with the work.” Unfortunately, the reality was that it just meant I could join another long queue. This queue was for the final airport style security checks; the trial by metal detector. Eventually, I was dock side, looking up at this skyscraper of the seas - it was massive. I waited for Dave to bring the van along the dock, as he had been subject to long queues and security checks at the dock entrance. After two lorry loads of crates had been fork lifted on board, Dave’s pathway was clear and


99


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