theatre A-LISTS Hot, Hilarious, Homo! by jared cox
Ryan Hill is an up-and-coming comic whose irreverence and blunt honesty have audiences from Los Angeles coming back for more. With regular appearances at the Hollywood Improv, Ice House, and Comedy Store, Ryan has the platform to make you laugh so hard that he promises you will pee, “just a little.” Ryan pulls his inspiration for his act from the trials and tribulations of a fat nerd growing up in myopic Orange County and his ugly-duckling transformation into, “the big gay swan he is today.” Ryan has had appearances on MTV, TBS, NBC, and FOX. In addition to his appearances on these television networks, Ryan has been featured in commercials for companies such as Pepsi, Doritos, SBC, and Dr. Pepper. Most recently, he can be seen playing the goofy cheerleader, Timmy, in a television campaign for
FreeCreditReport.com. You can catch Ryan live this month when he emcees Orange County Pride on the 14th.
The Rage Monthly: Does your ability to make people pee during performance hinder you from booking venues? Ryan Hill: No, because I offer a free hand-job afterwards. If you do laugh so hard that
you pee your pants, I will jack you off after the show. However, it has to be more than just a sparkle of pee. Like everyone has a sparkle of pee every now and again at the end of peeing, you know, that little spot; that’s what I call a sparkle of pee. If you have just a sparkle of pee, I don’t really feel sorry for you, you might just have an enlarged prostate. You have to really let the flood gates loose.
Rage: Tell me a little about your experiences growing up a fat nerd in Orange County. RH: I was a fat nerd growing up in Orange County. I weighed 205 lbs. when I was 13
or 14 years old. I wore old-school bifocal coke bottle glasses. They were about an inch thick with turtle shells on the frame. I also had a bowl cut, I don’t know if you know what that is, but it’s when they professionally put a bowl on your head and just cut the hair around it. I had braces on my gigantic horse teeth. My mother would buy me horizontally stripped shirts, which are very flattering for someone who has man boobs; I don’t know if you know that. I kind of looked like Tweedledee or Tweedlegay. I could make fun of myself so well and no one could do it better.
I had such a foul mouth and
a quick wit that I would absorb their joke and come back at them with something so much worse. And it endeared me to some and the others just learned to fear me. I weighed 205 lbs., you know, if I didn’t make you cry for insults, I’d throw a shit on you. So it definitely stirred something in me in regards to comedy.
Rage: As a self-proclaimed versatile comic, how do you bring that versatility to your performances? RH: My versatile comedy refers to the fact that I’ve found a way to play a gay audience
and make them feel like the show is specifically to them. For the straight audiences, to allow them into the gay world without making them feel alienated or on the outside; kind of giving them a window into a life they don’t understand without getting on a soapbox and preaching about equality. We all know that those issues exists, however, when someone comes to see a show, my number one goal is to entertain them. If a little bit of truth and irony can come into the jokes I tell about the current state of our civil rights, great.
Rage: Two words, “Lady GaGa & Beyonce’” RH: Well, with Lady GaGa and Beyonce’, they’re big trannies. Whether they have
lady parts or male parts, they represent a celebration of openness. They have thrown stereotypes to the wind. GaGa is the most unconventional beautiful woman, however
For more information about Ryan Hill visit
ryanhillcomedy.com See Ryan Hill live at Orange County Pride on August 14.
Ryan: Can I ask you a weird question? Rage: Sure.
Ryan: Is it weird to do it three times a day? Is that too much? Rage: By yourself?
Ryan: Yeah, by myself why? Making Crystal Light and popcorn; is it worth coming over? Rage: Absolutely?
Ryan: Cool, we should hang out! E-Mail me, text me. Now this makes this interview unprofessional. You’re welcome. You’re like, “ewww,” no credibility here! Rage: No comment
Rage: If you were a cocktail, what kind of cocktail would you be? Ryan: Would it be wise to say ground up Vicodin and Dimetapp?
everyone sees beauty in her and she is so outspoken on equality and her strength as a woman. I think Beyonce’ is the same way. I was a few feet away from Beyonce’ recently and everyone talked about her butt being big, but what you see in person is that her ass is enormous. It really is, it’s not TV enormous, it’s real life enormous—it can swallow you; be lost in it for days enormous. I think she let bigger women and gay men embrace that she can be the biggest super star in the world.
Rage: Besides comedy, do you have any other talents? RH: Okay, this interview just got 100 times gayer because before I started comedy,
I was a professional dancer. I did improv and comedy all through high school. I got in a fight with my closeted high school drama teacher, is there any other kind? Shortly thereafter I saw a prep rally with hip-hop dancers. I went and took a class and one class turned into three to four, and then I was taking classes eight times a week. At 18 I got an agent and shortly thereafter I got my first commercial and danced with some pop stars and random stuff like that. Dancers are respected about as much as fireworks. Let me explain, when you have a concert, the first things to go are the fireworks and the dancers. They work very hard and train all their lives to be treated like sparklers.
AUGUST 2010 | RAGE monthly 15
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