64 Education & Schools
FOR SALE “SAUNA BOX”
Inventory Clearance Sale, Brand New Product with Excellent Condition.
Size 120cm x 100cm x 190cm, Brand: ITAL®
Price: Negotiable Contact Person:
General Manager (Mobile): 0813 3849 6422
Jl. Pura Masuka, Br. Kertha Lestari, Ungasan Kuta Selatan - 80364, Bali - Indonesia
NC/Ns/G-2 June 10
CHRIS LITTLECHILD PHOTOGRAPHY
• villas(from 1.5 million)
• fashion • portraits
p: 08123 753 2670
• real estate • events
• advertising
www.chrislittlechildphoto.com
e:
chris@clp-photo.com
NC/Ns/I-02 June 10
DR. LISTRIANI & ASSOCIATES
VETERINARY CLINIC
CONSULTATION HOSPITALIZATION ON CALL SERVICES
LABORATORIUM GROOMING BOARDING
SURGERY MINOR & MAJOR MICRO CHIP DENTAL SCALING
Consultation from 8.00 - 19.00
JLN. TUKAD BALIAN 170 RENON, DENPASAR CALL FOR APPOINTMENT : (0361) 7449306, 9996980, 081916109609 ON CALL SERVICES : 085936113647, 9996939
C/Ns/G-21 April 10
.
02 June - 16 June, 2010
For Sale; 3-4 clothes designed by Malene Birger, sizes 38/40. If you like to see pictures. Call 081 2361 2084 or e-mail: <ellorabali@
yahoo.com>. Sanur. [151]
For Sale; Bamboo gazebo 3m x 3m. Free delivery. IDR 12 million. Pierre 0819 3603 3542. [152]
For Sale; Surfboads Al Merrik fi shcut 6’6x20x3, never waved, new $500. Also Byrne Owen Wright model 5’8x18 1/8 x 2 1/8 $350. Contact 081 2383 8746. Nusa Dua. [149]
Selling some vanilla plants for your garden. Contact 0819 1643 9217. Legian. [150]
C/Ns/S-27 Jan. 10
Bali Advertiser
Say What?
C/Ns/G-15 July 09
Question: I just got married to a man I dated for a year and half. We had a baby together. I love him, but I am not in love anymore. I cannot stand for him to kiss or touch me, so obviously there is no romance, no sex, nor anything like that. I also have an Indonesian male friend, whom I dated at one point about 2 years ago. He was my friend before I met my husband and is still one of my best friends. He and I spend a lot of time together, and I still have feelings for him. It does not help that we are so close, but I cannot help my feelings for him. He has dated around a little – both Westerners and women from his own culture -- and he can’t fi nd anyone he likes. We have a great relationship, one that my husband has always been jealous of. I am at a loss. What should I do? Do I tell my friend how I feel? Do I leave my husband?
Dr. ZZ: It seems as if you are in a state of overwhelm at the moment. Getting married and having a child can take a huge bite out of romance. In time, given a lot of straightfor- ward and heart-to-heart dialogue, you and your husband may be able to work this through. In order for that to happen, however, you need to quit idealizing about the fi sh that got away and start accepting that your relationship with your husband needs work -- now.
To help put your confl icting feelings to rest, there are a lot of unexpressed questions you may want to ask yourself: What about the Indonesian fellow makes you think you would be better prepared to settle down with him at this point? Obviously there are reasons why the two of you aren’t together. What makes you think you would be so much better suited for each other now than you were two years ago? It may also interest you to fi nd out what his take is on your randomly (or cold-heartedly) following your feelings and walking away from your marriage. He may or may not be impressed by your fi ckleness; his sympathies may lie instead with your husband’s being dumped by his wife. Ask him how watching you get pregnant, having a baby and marrying another man has altered his perception of you. What would be his feelings on raising another man’s child? All these are questions that may gradually help you resolve your inner confl ict.
Obviously, if your feelings for your husband continue to diminish while your feelings of closeness for this other fellow continue to grow, there will be decisions that you will probably need to face. For now though, my advice is to take it slowly. Focus on what’s in front of you (your husband and your baby), and let the future take care of itself without feeling as if you have to push the river. For the time being, there is no better person for you than the one you are with. Stay focused.
Question: Maybe you can help me. My best friend, my mother, and a guy who likes me are all angry at me for similar reasons. They all imply that I care only about myself and my feelings. Lately, I have been trying to gain self-confi dence and to put myself fi rst. I am tired of being stepped on and feeling awful. The problem is it doesn’t seem to be helping. Why am I having trouble with everyone else? I feel all alone and don’t know what to do. I kind of want to give up and not care about anything or anyone. Help!!!
Dr. ZZ: Often, when we fi rst start to stand up for ourselves and assert ourselves, others who are used to our previous, submissive behavior feel threatened. If you used to be passive and silent, they may NOT be thrilled about sharing some of the decision-making in your relationship. So don’t expect everyone to be happy about your newfound voice. Meanwhile, eager and determined to be assertive, you may also be erring on the side of boldness, and you may come across as being a bit too brazen.
Thus, you want to make sure that, when you say what’s on your mind, you do so at the right time and remain detached from the outcomes. In other words, freedom comes from expressing yourself assertively -- not from forcing your will on others. It’s okay, for example, to tell your best friend that you are worried about her new boyfriend’s lack of integrity, but be aware that she may not be ready to hear your remarks. Thus, it’s not appropriate to “turn up the volume” and become insistent as she’s rushing out the door on a date.
The trick is to be patient, to regard other peoples’ feelings as you gain your own sense of confi dence, and to develop skill and empathy in saying what is honestly on your mind regarding the decisions that affect your life. Stay calm, and don’t go on the attack. Your goal while you grow as a person is to gain respect, not to make enemies. Tell your loved ones who fi nd fault with you that it sounds to you as if they don’t want you to become a stronger person. Make sure, however, to deliver this message in a gentle tone and not in the heat of the moment. Perhaps, if you ask them, “Would you care to know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of that comment?” they too may reexamine their tone. Chances are they may not realize how they’re coming across.
Copyright © 2010 Say What?
You can read all past articles of Say What at
www.BaliAdvertiser.biz
Dr. ZZ has a Ph.D. in Counseling and a doctorate in Natural Healing. Drawing on a background of over thirty years as a professional therapist, she offers self-help in the areas health, relationship and personal growth. All queries are answered by email and, if they appear in print, are subject to editing. Please email your questions to: <
ba.saywhat@
yahoo.co.id> All identifying information is kept strictly confi dential.
DISCOVER YOURSELF
DISCOVER YOURSELF
By N kon Award Wnning American Photographer
MAX SMITH : 081263292795
By Nikoni
NATURAL PHOTOGRAPHYNATURAL PHOTOGRAPHY
Do YOU have a UK Pension?
Did you know recent changes to UK Legislation may now enable you to access your cash early and transfer your UK Pension to a Qualified Recognized Offshore Pension Scheme (QROPS).
The benefits of transfering your Pensions are;
• Early Tax Free Lump sum withdrawal. • No need to buy an annuity. • Unlimited tax free draw down. • Benefits flow to your family not the UK government
• Your assets are outside your estate meaning no IHT issues
• More control over your investments and better quality funds providing you with tax free growth.
Regardless of where you live in the world today, if
it’s outside the UK and you have a frozen UK pension you may qualify….. however with the massive debt in the UK today and millions of Pounds Sterling leaving the UK every year this legislation may change soon so don’t be one of the last to have your money stuck there.
This is a simple 3 step process, whether you live in
Bali or are just here on holiday. Call now and arrange for a qualified consultant to walk you through the 3 simple steps anywhere in the world.
081338303615
NC/Ns/G-2 June 10
ward Wiinning American Photographer
MAX SMITH : 081263292795
NC/Ns/I-02 June 10
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