horoscopes by vera divine
every way, and especially in regard to romance. That is
LEO July 24 – August 23 precisely what is happening…to someone else! Hey,
It’s the time of the season…Who’s your daddy?…You get don’t worry Pisces. Your time to shine will come. But it
the picture. By now, you should know the drill! Break out the probably won’t be in the way you hope or expect. The
thick goofy sunglasses and congregate awkwardly in your universe wants to reward you on a major scale; all you
front yard. Yep, the eclipses are here. But this time we get to need to do is be open to receiving it. Keep your mind
see three of them! Well, at least India does. We North Ameri- open and remember that Ron Howard is best known
cans just get to stand around and look at the sky for a couple for his work off-camera.
hours. But that’s alright. Take this time to ponder the thrilling
possibilities of our existence and inspire yourself to branch
ARIES March 21 – April 20
out! Debra Messing did just that and now she’s playing a
This will be a major month of the year for you to
completely new kind of vulnerable, eccentric woman with a
prove some things to yourself that you’ve been
bad trail of neuroses.
worrying about. The major topic will have to do with
dramatic shifts in your career and another will clarify
to you how people see and think of you. Don’t fret, this
is a good thing. You certainly want to know if people
compare you to the likes of David Letterman, right?
VIRGO August 24 – September 23 often than my self-respect during Pride!
Career, friendship, travel and love. Do they ever
TAURUS April 21 – May 21
get along? This month might be the time to find out! SAGITTARIUS November 23 – December 22
Get ready to get much more use out of your suitcase
Even if your last holiday was when yellow polka-dot Look forward to some fabulous changes to your
than you have in a long, long time! Nearly everything
bikinis were still forgivable at the beach, don’t worry. finances. Not necessarily an increase, but more of a
around you will be coaxing you to explore the world
Just jump in! Vacationing is one of those things you stretch as to what you can get with what you have.
outside your safety bubble. But don’t let it stop there!
never forget how to do. And you might be able to go You’ll be able to make ends meet and maybe enjoy
This new trend could have long-range effects in the
alone, if you’re lucky! I know, eeek. Alone might seem a luxury or two…like a full tank of gas for once this
years to come. It’s up to you if these effects are posi-
like a sad way to travel, but believe me. Not worrying millennium! Milla Jovovich knows how this feels,
tive, teasing, exciting and broadening. If you’ve ever
about where everybody else wants to relax and party having made the transition from starved model to
seen Tammy Wynette’s hairdos, you KNOW she
is a relaxing party in itself. Besides, you’ll have your semi-starved actress.
teased and broadened her hair until she could barely
room to yourself! *wink!* Make like Gloria Estefan
walk upright!
and turn that beat around! Or did she say, “Turn that CAPRICORN December 23 – January 20
meat, it’s brown?” Strong bond with friends, check. Renewed sense
GEMINI May 22 – June 21
of worth, check! Decent suntan lotion? This has all the
Your financial picture is changing this month, and
LIBRA September 24 – October 23 makings of a memorable month for you, Capricorn!
depending on how careful you are, it might not be a
Hold on to your buns, little Libra. You’re in for The eclipses are back, but that doesn’t mean your tan
very pretty one. But thanks to some extra guidance
the ride or your…season. Okay, so things aren’t as will be affected. The absence of light can be a good
you’ll receive this month, we might be able to keep
exciting as you’d like them to be for you right now. So thing. It can be a sanctuary for you and those close to
you afloat. It’s been a long time since you’ve seen such
what? Did the endless Pride parties last month teach you to rest and mend. And if you’re Val Kilmer, I’d stay
a dramatic emphasis on money matters. That’s no
us nothing? You should know by now that life can be out of the sun until you get some serious SPF!
reason to cause extra stress, just be flexible with ideas
as wonderfully random as you want it to be. You want
you’re given and don’t be afraid to try unexpected,
change? Go panhandle! Just kidding! But you don’t AQUARIUS January 21 – February 19
borderline crazy things. They can really give you an
need to wait for the universe to bring you change. From this month forward, no more shame! I mean it,
edge. Prince’s wardrobe should be taken as a sign
You make change happen for yourself! Look at Carrie Aquaman! Ever hear the phrase, “Don’t beat yourself
of that.
Fisher! You think she was as happy as she is now? Put up?” I’m pretty sure they coined it for you! Honestly,
your hair in buns, allow yourself to get groped by Har- what good could possibly come of you absorbing ev-
CANCER June 22 – July 23
rison Ford and let me know what YOU think! ery ounce of blame that comes your way? Sometimes
You never thought this would be you, did you? Not
there’s nothing you can do about a situation until it since the beginning of the millennium have you wor-
SCORPIO October 24 – November 22 blows over by itself. For the time being, just deal with
ried and sacrificed so much. When you ask yourself
Oooh, look at you! You have a very different, and in the emotions that you’re due, not the ones you mount
whether this is the way it has to be in order to continue,
many ways better, outlook than many of the signs. I’m onto yourself. Denise Richards didn’t get her reality
it’s because you really believe it might be. The truth is,
not saying you’re necessarily better, though you will show by throwing herself into a pit. But I do hear it
it’s a phase. Just like every dry spell, season of plenty
probably read it that way. I’m just saying you’re ahead started with a pity party!
and time of rest. Things like this come in waves. The
of the game…for now. Don’t get too cocky. There are
eclipses, income, men…they’re all slaves to this rule.
limits to what you can attain. Bill Gates knows what PISCES February 20 – March 20
But as Tobey Maguire realized by the third Spidey
I’m talking about. His fortunes have fluctuated more Every once in a while the stars align perfectly in
movie, each wave can only be ridden for so long!
72 RAGE monthly | August 2009
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