‘I’M STILL HERE’
by DOUGLAS RAZZANO S
everal months ago in the PSA mag- azine, there was an article featuring Frank Carroll titled “I’m Still Here.” Well,
I was intrigued with the idea of using the same title for this article for a few reasons. One, I look up to and admire Frank Carroll immensely and two, because yes, I’m still here.
When you’ve been skating for as long
as I have, and to be still skating at my age (26), I’ve heard all the chatter. “Don’t you think it’s time to retire?” Or the classic “Why are you still skating?” It isn’t always the easiest thing to deal with, and in this day and age of social media, it’s often im- possible to avoid. They are questions that every skater deals with when nearing the end of his or her career. While 26 may not be old in the grand scope of life outside of skating, in this sport, I could definitely be considered, shall we say, over the hill. Isn’t age just a number, though? Throughout my career my motiva-
tions for skating, which, candidly, weren’t always the most sound, continually evolved as I did. As a beginner, I skated because I couldn’t get enough of it. I tire- lessly practiced for hours and hours. As a 10-year-old, I progressed quickly and wanted to win and compete at my first regional championships. As a teenager dabbling in international competitions, I wanted to be assigned again and again, and then a Grand Prix Series debut at Skate America left me hungry for more. Unfortunately, looking back and re-
flecting on what I was skating for, interna- tional events and winning competitions, are “things,” and when I got caught up skating for “things,” I wasn’t truly focused on the actual skating to get those “things” I so wanted. It came and went in phases. Some
success would bring complacency, and defeat would bring back hard work, which led to success and so on and so forth. I wanted that so-called glamorous life, traveling the world, competing at cham- pionship events and winning medals, but didn’t always take the necessary steps to get there. I wanted to compete well. I al- ways worked hard, set small goals and worked toward them, but sometimes I got distracted and lost track of why I love to skate and started to skate in the first place. Medals and titles and trophies aren’t ev- erything, and while being rewarded for
72 MARCH 2015
skating well is always nice, those rewards are rarely in the control of the skater and don’t always materialize. It wasn’t until 2013 that I realized this
method wasn’t working and subsequent- ly made a conscious effort to approach my craft differently. I went into the rink every day with a different purpose than skating for “things.” I went into the rink and I pushed my mind and my body hard- er than ever. I went into the rink to try to be the best skater I could be, regardless of any competition outcome. Choosing to continue to skate year
after year, through ups and downs, all be- comes worth it when I have experiences like I did in my free skate at the 2014 U.S. Championships in Boston. No, I didn’t win a medal, but those feelings in that mo- ment are unequivocally irreplaceable and it’s a moment I will cherish forever. Coin- cidentally, it also probably isn’t too far- fetched to think that my success could be directly related to the shift in my mental approach that occurred months before. The culmination of hard work, dedication, passion and the feelings of that moment are what encouraged me to continue to skate in the 2014–15 season. In the 17 years that I have dedicated
to this sport, I have learned so many in- valuable life lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Reading back what I just wrote isn’t the easiest thing to do. In fact, I would like to slap myself for seemingly wasting precious time not solely devoted to making myself the abso- lute best I could be. Unfortunately, it isn’t something I can rewind and do over again, but instead I learn and grow from it. The skating world has so much to offer to so many people and especially to those for- tunate enough to be able to do it on the grandest stages in the world. Those expe- riences should never be taken for granted. To answer the nonsensical questions
in the beginning, I am still skating because I love to do it. It may be time for me to re- tire in others’ minds, but at the end of the day, those opinions don’t mean anything. I will skate until my heart tells me “no more” but until that time … yes, I’m still here. Douglas Razzano, who lives and trains
in Arizona, started competing in 2000 at the juvenile level and this year placed seventh at the 2015 U.S. Championships in Greensboro.
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