Cheryl Davis, Meryl Davis, Charlie White and Jacqui White enjoy time together in the Puffs booth at 2014 Hilton HHonors Skate America. Success starts at home
Editor’s note: Last fall, Cheryl Davis and Jacqui White, mothers of Olympic ice dance champions Meryl Davis and Charlie White, attended the U.S. Novice and Junior Challenge Skate in Salt Lake City as parent team leaders. Tis devel- opmental competition is an invitation-only program for athletes who have com- peted previously at the intermediate through junior levels at the sectional or U.S.
by CHERYL DAVIS, JACQUI WHITE AND KELLY VOGTNER Figure skating is thought of as an individual
sport, and yet communication plays a surprising- ly important role. Young skaters have to navigate a number of relationships, such as personal and close relationships with their coaches and rela- tionships with friends and competitors. Parents also have relationships with coaches and other parents, which can be tricky. And if your child is part of a synchronized skating team, or has a pairs or dance partner, things can really get complicat- ed and challenging. And of course, we can’t forget where it all starts, the relationship the skaters have with their parents. All of these relationships re- quire effective communication skills. So one of the most important things we
as parents can do to support our athletes is to learn what effective communication looks like and model these skills for our skaters to emulate.
28 FEBRUARY 2015
With purposeful practice at home, our skaters can learn these skills from us and, as a result, improve their chances of creating successful working rela- tionships with their coaches and/or partners. Communication is as much about listening as it is about speaking, listening carefully to hear the feelings that the speaker is trying to convey. As an example, when your son or daughter gets home, ask how practice was and then listen with- out interruption. Encourage your skater to con- tinue with “And then what?” Sometimes parents tune their kids out and miss the tidbits of infor- mation inside the everyday conversations that we really need to pay attention to. Turning off the TV and sitting down with them to really listen to what they have to say will build rapport and trust and create a more open space for sharing informa- tion.
Establishing clear lines of communication takes practice, attention to detail
Championships. Challenge Skate parents had the opportunity to work with Cher- yl and Jacqui and attend their three seminars, titled “Success Starts at Home.” Each of the seminars included topics relevant to raising a figure skater. In
this second of three installments, SKATING magazine features a recap of their seminar that focused on effective communication.
Young girls may need to be heard and taken
seriously, but they need to learn to channel their voice to be heard. Young women need to be clear about their intentions, so others will listen. Tey need to be taught to bring strength to the team through their voice. It was our experience that Meryl had to learn to speak up, ask questions and not settle if she had concerns. She, too, could be intense, ambitious and a powerful part of the team. As kids get older, they may become less in-
clined to talk, so it’s important to start early. Sit with them and listen to them with eye contact and an awareness of nonverbal communication, like body language, to focus on what they have to say. Tis creates the feeling of connectedness of being fully heard. A core part of communication, whether it is between parents and children, between you and
JAY ADEFF/U.S. FIGURE SKATING
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