inspiration
I want to be in a Relationship, but I’m afraid of getting hurt! by Mike Angulo
f you get a knot in your stomach just by thinking about being in a relationship, you can bet that Limiting Beliefs are sabotaging your Romantic Dreams! Consider the story of Christy, a 45
I
year old single mom, who was happy with her family and her successful banking career, but felt very lonely without romance in her life. Last October, she reached out to me for help, because her girlfriends and family were pushing her to get out there. But something was holding her back and she could not pinpoint just what it was. When I asked her what she thought about dating, she responded that a part of her wanted to be in a relationship, but another part of her was afraid that her 3 girls would not get along with her potential mate. Plus, she felt that she did not have enough time for a relationship, and she was afraid of being rejected for being out of shape. Her biggest fear was getting hurt, thanks to a messy divorce 4 years ago that left her heartbroken and jaded. All her fear-based responses are
what we call in life coaching “Limiting Beliefs”, and they were conditioning every thought she had about love.
Once I helped her confront those Limiting Beliefs, we discovered that, at the core, she truly did not accept herself, which she tied to her mom’s constant criticism when she was a child. And this, in turn, had led her to believe that no man could really love her. Once we healed all the Limiting Beliefs and found the positive intentions behind them, she gave herself “permission” to love and started getting really excited about dating. And when this happened, instead of fear, she felt a sense of expansion, openness and joy that she had never experienced before. To her surprise, she realized that
what had started out as a desire to remove her holdups about love, had become the start of an exciting journey to a new life, fi lled not only with romance, but more importantly, self-acceptance.
Tips for breaking through Limiting Beliefs about Love: Christy is a perfect example of
many women who want to be in a relationship but feel confl icted, because deep down inside, there
is a part of them that is afraid of getting hurt. Because this part is unconscious, meaning, we are not aware of it, we must focus the light of our attention on it, ask it questions and listen to its answers, so that we can help it heal. Find a quiet place, grab a warm blanket and dedicate a couple of hours to writing the answers to the following questions: “What am I afraid of?”; “What would I have to believe is true about being in a relationship that would make me feel this way?”; “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” And, then, when you have a few answers, ask: “What is the positive intention of each one of these Limiting Beliefs?”; And, fi nally, “What would I have to believe in order to feel excited about love?” This is the First Stage of a process I designed called “Mind3X”, which involves 3 different levels of the mind and a cross-combination of cutting edge NLP techniques, as well as Law of Attraction Principles. Because it is very fast, it can also be
a bit overwhelming initially. But, I tell my clients that they can either bite the bullet now for a couple of hours, or they can face their fears after 10 more years of disappointments. (Ummmm … I’ll take the 2 hours, thank you very much!) The other phases of Mind3X involve understanding the different levels of your personality, learning dating strategies, understanding the opposite sex, how to communicate effectively, and how to redesign yourself and your life, so you can truly live Happily Ever After!
Mike Angulo is a Master NLP Life
Coach in Lake Mary, FL Connect via: coach@efl
exx.com
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