BARBICAN LIFE


talk to him about how individual lives are lived and experienced. People live in bodies, and our


bodies are the equipment we use to encounter this world – so how does the body work to achieve speedy decision making? The brain uses two processes, which enables us to deal with complex things quickly – we recognise patterns, and we ‘tag’ an event with a particular emotion. As the world speeds up, it is becoming more and more important to see patterns, to survive. Schools do not explicitly teach this.


This is the result of natural selection – because can we do this, we have the distinct advantage of making our reactions and decisions rapid, in the face of complexity – other species lower in the food chain don’t have this facility.


I thought about Wallace again, in the jungles of Ternate, Malaysia, a hundred and fifty years ago, thinking through the mechanism – it is death, which fashions new species, because those most adapted to the environment avoid it for longer, to breed. Schools avoid the subject of death altogether – perhaps because we have no subject which looks at the different world views, and what they are – the different thesis on what happens when we die remain a subject to be avoided almost at all cost. Motherhood seems to be embracing the most uncomfortable gaps – death, ethical behaviour, caring for one’s neighbours. Today’s technology takes the fullest advantage of the fact that we are hardwired to gather information quickly, match it to previous experiences and knowledge, and make decisions. Fast moving information processing puts our blood pressure up, yes – but does not make us confused. What it does is steal our personal time to reflect. Maybe we as mothers are here to switch off external electronic devices, and provide such stimulation as might result in children switching on that amazing complex many faceted organ we carry in our heads: the brain. We also acquaint our child with the function of our hearts – compassion, kindness and consideration for others is taught by example. The


psychologists would tell you all about


upbringing in terms of ‘attachment behaviour’ as if the term ‘love’ is


poisonous, because it defies definition. No longer seeking academic approval, I would say it more simply : a mother’s job is to love her children.


Love, I am coming to realise is


the last stumbling block of the academic bastion – because it cannot be measured, it cannot be mentioned – it’s very existence is to be ignored. With its enabling influence, many people are succeeding in difficult tasks – but stubbornly, it refuses to be calibrated. Rather like the sub-atomic particle which is subject to Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle, if you question its existence or try to measure it, love seems to elude the measuring stick and retreat. Loving is not easy – and it does not allow of sclerosis : if you want to encourage your child to keep his conscience alive and well by exercising it regularly, make and keep good friends, and most importantly choose to be happy, you have to be nimble of foot, subtle in your approach, and teach by example – even temporary inertia is not permitted. As he grows older, a parent with a sense of civic duty would urge her child to understand that his personal conduct will help preserve our common freedoms; I am waiting for the joys of rational discussion. We also teach our children what to value. The most important of these is health. While we have it, our health is a forgotten advantage – it is the basis of all other freedoms; as it starts to fail, we become aware of how many dreams we did not pursue, while we still could; a winter of ill-health has illustrated this for me somewhat ahead of time. A mother’s life should show her child how to preserve his own health, of mind body and spirit, and to warn him against the hazards of sclerosis in any form. Making happy memories, and connecting with strangers keeps the mind from getting stiff and stuck.


I thought about my recent interview with Clara Weber (University of Surrey) (has she spoken to you too?) who is looking at our response to living in the Barbican – she asked me at my interview about my favourite places, and walked with me to them. As I walked, she asked me why these places mattered - my memories flooded back – a little boy, running in the garden, feeding the ducks, swinging on the small swings, looking at the Barber Surgeons’ herb garden, and naming the plants. A rich store of memories – every mother’s secret treasure. Do participate in her survey; she is telling our collective story, and seeing it in a positive light, I think.


The door bell rang – it was four o’clock, I noticed. The day had gone, and it was time for me to let my son back into the flat, and make him a healthy snack. Instantly, as he entered, I would have to switch into mother mode. As subtly, cautiously and stealthily as possible, I would have to prosecute my agenda – it doesn’t do to look too much like a mother when your child is entering his teenage years. Thank you Selma James (now 83 and still campaigning about the unacknowledged power of women – she was the person who coined the phrase ‘unwaged’, and in 1985 persuaded the UN to take into account the work done by women, who remain unpaid for it, when they assess global economic acvitity) – here I am, hoping to be an example of exactly who you think is making the difference.


I switched off my conversation in the ether about human electronic tagging. Making real human connections is important, he should learn, sharing of values and beliefs in


13


Selma James


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