The Lowdown
ONCE UPON A TIME H
by Jeff Matlow
ere’s the good news: my wife is pregnant!
The bad news? Well, there isn’t any as far as I can tell. It’s all good news. Very, very good news. Not that you’d realize it when you hear what some people say to me.
The thing I learned pretty quickly is that the moment you get pregnant every person you know who has ever had a child will tell you what you’re in for. Though this isn’t entirely surprising, what I didn’t expect was the vast difference of opinion you get from people. There are some people who get so excited when they hear about my pending child that their eyes light up and they burst with an animated flurry of excitation. They tell me how much fun it’s going to be and how children make one’s life infinitely better and how it will be the best thing that ever happened to me and how I’m going to be a great father and... and... and. Their cup runneth over with positivity. Then there are the other people.
You know the other people — you undoubtedly have a few of them in your life. They are the pessimists. They call themselves realists but they are just the anti-excititude. “Welcome to hell,” a few of them have said to me when they heard we were expecting. “There goes any hope of living your dreams,” another shared. “Forget about ever having personal time again,” others say. Not having had a child before, I got confused and, frankly, somewhat scared. Is it going to be hell? What will happen to my dreams? I started listening to these naysayers and, dare I say, I started buying into their fear-mongering. “I don’t think we really thought this through correctly,” I said to my wife one evening. “You’re scaring me,” she replied. “What exactly do you mean?”
“Well,” I responded, “those people, they keep telling me this is going to be hell and… well… what if they’re right? Having a kid is, like, forever, right? I don’t think that concept of ‘forever’ really sunk in when we were… ummm… you know, making the baby. Forever, honey. Did you actually realize that’s what a child means!? Am I the only one freaking out here!?”
She rolled her eyes and walked away.
“Don’t listen to their silly stories,” she said over her shoulder.
“Silly stories?!” I mumbled to myself as I sat down on the couch and ker- plunked my head in my hands. ‘What have I done!?’ I thought. I lay down and closed my eyes. I began thinking of my life and how just 48 hours earlier I was excited about the baby. All before I heard these so-called “silly stories.”
And the more I thought about it the
more I realized she was right. They are silly stories. Everybody is just telling me stories of their lives. They are telling me the same story they tell themselves day in and day out.
Soon I realized that this is most of what life is — it’s the stories we tell ourselves every day. Some of us tell ourselves a story about how we are victims to a world that is plotting against us. Others tell a story of how they are lucky and fortunate for what they have. Some people tell themselves stories of how children cramp their lifestyle and destroy their individualism, while others tell a story of how children enrich their lives and make their journey more full. The funny thing is, whatever story we tell ourselves is the one we inevitably end up living. In many ways, you define your own fate by your own story. Triathlon, as it turns out, is no different.
For many years I would show up at the starting line of a race in complete
Illustration by Charlie Jahner
fear. The story I told myself was one of terror and tragedy, where I’m not good enough and if I push too hard very bad things will happen. There was no happy ending in my story. Inevitably, the end of the race duplicated the story I made. “If only...” I’d repeat over and again as I recounted the race. If only...
But after a few years of telling the same story, I realized that it was time for me to open a new book. I no longer needed a story of fear when I could tell a story of accomplishment and growth. My story changed from one of failure into a tale of success and happy endings, where I did my best, I pushed my hardest and I reveled in the experience. And, lo and behold, my story morphed into reality. Rather than the disappointment I used to feel in my races — where it was an unending tale of what ifs — I instead became overjoyed with my accomplishment.
And, just as suddenly, life started feeling better and triathlon became more fun. Did I change my training or alter my nutrition? Not at all. I just changed my story.
So do I fear having a child? Am I concerned my new daughter will cramp my lifestyle? Hell no. The story in my book is not a tragedy or a horror, it is a lifelong epic about unconditional love. My story is an uplifting tale that gets better and better every day. And the novel starts today.
Jeff Matlow is learning how to change diapers. You can find him at
JeffRuns@imATHLETE.com or
www.twitter.com/IAmAthlete
112 USA TRIATHLON SUMMER 2012
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68 |
Page 69 |
Page 70 |
Page 71 |
Page 72 |
Page 73 |
Page 74 |
Page 75 |
Page 76 |
Page 77 |
Page 78 |
Page 79 |
Page 80 |
Page 81 |
Page 82 |
Page 83 |
Page 84 |
Page 85 |
Page 86 |
Page 87 |
Page 88 |
Page 89 |
Page 90 |
Page 91 |
Page 92 |
Page 93 |
Page 94 |
Page 95 |
Page 96 |
Page 97 |
Page 98 |
Page 99 |
Page 100 |
Page 101 |
Page 102 |
Page 103 |
Page 104 |
Page 105 |
Page 106 |
Page 107 |
Page 108 |
Page 109 |
Page 110 |
Page 111 |
Page 112 |
Page 113 |
Page 114 |
Page 115 |
Page 116 |
Page 117 |
Page 118 |
Page 119 |
Page 120 |
Page 121 |
Page 122 |
Page 123 |
Page 124 |
Page 125 |
Page 126 |
Page 127 |
Page 128 |
Page 129 |
Page 130 |
Page 131 |
Page 132 |
Page 133 |
Page 134 |
Page 135 |
Page 136 |
Page 137 |
Page 138 |
Page 139 |
Page 140 |
Page 141 |
Page 142 |
Page 143 |
Page 144