interrupting me when I’m trying to explain.


Mary: (soothing) He wants to learn, Bob, but you intimidate him because he wants to please you so much. Maybe when he recovers from this stomach flu he’ll be able to concentrate.


Bob: I hope so, but I fear we have a landlubber on our hands. (The VCR fades.)


Scrounge: (Looking miserably at the spirit) Is this true? Will Briny Tom be (he swallows hard) ... a landlubber?


Spirit: I’m afraid Tom suffers from an undiagnosed case of cronic seasickness. Where


he sleeps now I see an empty berth. (Scrounge gasps) If this situation remains unaltered by the future, Tom will never set foot on a boat again. The boy will move to Iowa to farm wheat. (Fresh tears spring to Scrounge’s eyes as he stares despairingly at the spirit. The scene fades.)


SCENE V We hear the beeping of Scrounge’s Casio as his alarm goes off. He awakes with a start, sensing another presence in his room.


Scrounge: Who comes to torture me now? (The spirit appears as an old time pirate, black eye patch, peg leg and all)


Pirate: Aarrgh, Matey. How be ye faring this night? Quite a wild one, I might add.


Scrounge: Let’s get on with it, spirit. Do you have another movie for me – another horrifying trip down memory lane? Or will you simply beat me with my own words?


Pirate; Why Mr. Scrounge, that’s not it at all, and I’m ashamed ye be thinking that way. Why, we be going to a party. And we’d better hurry or I’ll be missed. (Scrounge suddenly finds himself leaning against the yacht club bar. Unobtrusively the pirate moves behind the bar and begins serving drinks.


TIME TO GET YOUR SAILS IN FOR WINTER REPAIRS


Pirate: It was a Bloody Mary you wanted now, wasn’t it Mr. Wilder? Aye, that’s me favorite drink as well. (Scrounge begins eavesdropping on the conversations around him.)


Sailor 1: Who’d have believed an outdated boat like Generosity could move that fast.


Sailor 2: I’d say it was luck, except that this series is the third time she’s won.


Sailor 3: The skipper’s a great helmsman, yet he lets everyone on the crew drive. It’s just a great all-round program. No wonder they’re receiving the “Boat of the Year” trophy.


Pirate: (Leans over and whispers in Scrounge’s ear) Would ye like to set your eyes on this here winning boat? (Scrounge nods eagerly. The pirate hangs a “back in 5 minutes” sign on the bar and walks Scrounge to the marina. Halfway down one dock he stops and points to starboard.)


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www.uksails.ca - northwest@uksails.ca 48° NORTH, DECEMBER 2011 PAGE 32


Scrounge: (staring in disbelief) It’s my old boat, Bank Machine, But the paint’s new and the winches have been replaced.


Pirate: Aye. Ain’t she a beauty! I’d sure like to borrow her for some pirating (he chuckles at the idea). But we’d best get back for the ceremony. Wouldn’t want to miss all the fun. (His eyes twinkle as he says this. They return to the club and the pirate again takes his place behind the bar.)


Pirate: Go to the front of the crowd, lad. You’ll not want to miss the presentations. (Scrounge elbows his way among the sailors until he reaches an advantageous position.)


Announcer: And for all their skill and good sportsmanship, even when encountering confused skippers such as myself, (general laughter) I present the ‘Boating award of the Year’ to Generosity! (loud applause, announcer


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