F L U S H E D


9


EXCUSES FOR BLOWING YOUR ROLL >>> (AND THEIR UNDERLYING TRUTHS)


WHAT THEY SAY:


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50


My paddle’s feather must be off a few degrees.”


WHAT THEY’RE THINKING: I can’t believe I paid $600 for this thing.


This boat has exceptional


tertiary stability.” I need a skirt with a bigger grab loop.


I broke my paddle, that’s why we can’t find it, but let’s keep looking for it anyway.”


Maybe they’ll forget I swam.


I thought a hip flick was a cool movie.”


Why must they always laugh?


I had just heard someone call it an Eskimo roll and I didn’t want to misappro- priate anyone’s cultural


identity.” Hey, that’s a good one.


I never miss my roll in the


pool.” Rivers are scary.


My hands were covered with lotion and I couldn’t


keep a grip on my shaft.” I’ve got to keep my mind on paddling.


It was my turn to buy


anyway.” True.


You can roll a canoe?” Just play dumb.


Rapid Staff


RICK MATTHEWS


RAPID


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