Rock the Boat Holey Crap
ONE SNEAKER-WEARING OLD-SCHOOLER BUCKS THE TREND TO SLIP-ON SANDALS
BY DAVID BARNES
>> FASHION AND FUNCTION may go hand in hand, but trendy Swiss-cheesy footwear comes with a cost not mentioned in all the hype by doctors and nurses who tout the good foot health of the holey shoe. Everyone it seems has joined the foam clog shoe army-of-
many-colours. I am hearing the clop-clopping of holey soles more now than the traditional summertime thwack-thwacking of the once-predominant flip-flops. Not since the barbarian peas- ants scurried to the hills at the sounds of approaching Romans wearing the prototype Teva has a footwear craze been so success- ful. The Age of Aquarius has a soft, squishy, rubbery feel. Last year PROFIT magazine placed one of the holey shoe com-
panies at the top of their “Hot 50” list as it saw spectacular ad- vances in revenue. Of course these things are profitable. Think of all the extra shoes that are manufactured from the punched-out plastic disks! Holeys are seemingly useful, and they are cheap. A pair of
these will only pull about $16 out of your wallet. Crack-proof, wear-proof, everything-proof and they float too! Who cares, so did my beat up old pair of sandals. We are told that holey shoes are good for kayaking, yet I have
to wonder after my own experience with holey shoes just how many of these happy feet belong to kayakers. After another season of paddling in old sandals that were be-
coming more duct tape than sandal, I gave in. I clop-clopped from one end of the outdoorsy store to the other, and on my return trip I was sold. There are no surf waves in outdoorsy stores. In that safe, dry
environment I envisioned myself leaping in and out of my kayak for a quick pee secure in the knowledge that I would not bring water back with me. Holey shoes have holes, you see. The water just magically disappears mid-leap! No one told me that they don’t stay on when you are leaping in and out of a kayak. The general consumer may be buying the sales pitch, perhaps
rightfully. I once saw the holey shoe in a gardening shop. This makes sense as they are far more suited for puttering in the yard. The holey clog is as destined to be found propped up out- side the backdoor of the avid gardener as it is rare to encounter
28 | | ADVENTURE KAYAK early summer 2007
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