HOW TO
How to: resolve office conflict effectively
Office conflict can make for a very unpleasant work experience for every- one, so as PA make it part of your role to help ease disagreements BY JOHN DIXON
If there are 50 people in the office, then there are 50 different reasons why conflict will arise. That is because everyone is different; we have differing percep- tions, ways of communicating, views of content of spe- cific matters, moral, social and religious values, goals, pressures from responsibilities, status and power, emo- tional issues, personalities, and many, many more vari- able. In short, we’re all made up of our differences and at times an office is not always an easy fit for such varying opinions and behaviours. It hardly surprising, then, that conflict arises. It is, in
reality, unavoidable. And organisational psychologists also emphasise that conflict is not necessarily a bad thing. It helps to flush out issues, brings different per- spectives to an issue, and can lead to enhanced creativi- ty, innovation and quality. But when conflict is negative it can be very destructive for everyone, and at some time in their careers every PA will find themselves in such a sit- uation. When that happens, there are two possible reme- dies – get help from HR or a specialist mediator, or attempt to resolve it yourself.
Do it yourself
If you are going to try to deal with the problem yourself there are key steps to take. But first, psychologist Claire Smith says there are several things to avoid. Do not be an ostrich, pretending that all is right and hoping the prob- lem will go away. It almost never does, and it will inevitably grow, so accept that there is a problem and it needs to be resolved. Most importantly, do not try to resolve the conflict in the heat of the moment. When frustration has pushed you to boiling point is exactly the wrong time to tell the other person what you think of them or their idea or their action. The third important thing to avoid is mak- ing it personal. It isn’t about you, or the other person; it is about how the two of you resolve the issue together.
So what do you do?
First step – ask the other person for a meeting. Arrange a mutually-acceptable time and place, where you can focus on the discussion without interruption. Indicate to the other person the nature of the discussion, but Claire emphasises this should be in a positive fashion, eg ‘I’d like to talk about how we can work better together’, or ‘can we discuss how we can solve this issue’.
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win the argument – because if you do the other person loses, and not only will the problem not be properly resolved it may get worse. Aim for a win for both of you
“Don’t try to
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Meeting needs
Before the meeting, determine what outcomes you’d like to gain from it. As you do this, remember that the other person also needs to get something out of it as well, so think about their needs too. Once in the meeting, start by expressing your point of view, making it clear that once you’ve done that you’ll give the other person the same opportunity. Claire says that in probably half of all cases the problem gets resolved right here – the simple misun- derstanding that was the basis of the conflict gets cleared up and the air is cleared. But if not, keep talking. Listen to each other respectful-
ly, and ask and answer questions for clarity. Agree on the differences that you have in your points of view, and throughout this discussion focus on the issue, not the indi- vidual. Avoid ‘you’ statements, such as ‘you always …’. Try to focus on what you both need to get out of this discussion. Explore and discuss potential solutions. Work towards agreement of what is the one solution that best meets the needs for both of you. You should both feel satisfied with the answer. Here Claire warns of another trap to avoid. Don’t try to win the argument – because if you do the other person loses, and not only will the problem not be properly resolved it may get worse. Aim for a win for both of you – the classic win-win outcome, where both of you come away with what you need. The final stage of this meeting is for the two of you to agree a plan. What is it that each of you will do, what follow-up steps will there be, when are things going to happen or change? The rest is simple – just do what you agreed to do, and that makes it easy for the other person to do the same. E
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