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First steps
Organizing your Guest List and wedding budget is
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fairly straightforward if you follow these simple steps...
1 Create 3 lists 3
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Writing your budget
When creating your guest list I recommend You don’t need an accounting degree
using these 3 categories: for this. All a good budget involves is
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Q&A
• Title the first group “those who MUST be filling in some information on the Excel
invited” or A-list. These are your immediate spreadsheet that I’ve created for you -
family and friends. I consider them to be which you can download in the planning
folks you are closest to and would likely tools section of our website - and guess
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spend the holidays with. what, you have built your budget! Before
• Second are your “should be invited” you begin filling in amounts, though, it
My fiance’s mother is insisting on
guests or your B-list. To me, these are those will be helpful if you determine which
inviting more guests than we’ve
friends and co-workers who you spend categories are most important to you
asked her to. What should I do?
time with regularly; perhaps it could be so that you can begin to know in which
I suggest that you and your
awkward to talk about your wedding areas to spend and in which to save! fiance first determine why this
and not invite them but they aren’t part Main categories: is bothering you. Is this causing
of your inner circle. • Reception Food & the Venue. This is
a problem because it’s going to
• Third is your “would be nice to invite” where you will spend the lion’s share of
blow your budget or is it just
group or your C-list. These are those friends your dollars. Plan for approximately 40 –
irritating that she’s not listening?
and associates that you see at most once 50% of your budget being spent on the
or twice a year and feel obligated to site rental fee, all of the food including
You need to know your real
include. the nibbles during cocktail hour and the
frustration before confronting
• Ask your fiancé, and both sets of parents meal itself, your wedding cake and all
her. Once you know, you will be
to use this same formula when they are beverages both alcoholic and non.
better prepared to tell her how
making their lists. It will help facilitate • Wedding papers. This includes save- you feel and explain the position
the tweaking process when or if any the-date cards, invitations, ceremony that her behavior is putting you
adjustments need to be made. programs, escort & place cards, menu
both in. She cares about you
• Once you add the names up from all 3 cards, table signs, etc… 2 – 5% is a good
both, I’m sure, and is likely very
lists you will have your total guest count. If ratio for this category unless you are
excited about the wedding and is
this exceeds your space or budget, then completely obsessed with paper as I
you can begin to make cuts starting with personally am. Then, you’ll likely spend a
wanting to share this experience
your C list first. little more than this.
with everyone she can. If it’s a
• Rentals. I consider transportation,
financial issue, perhaps she can
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tables, chairs, linens, china, crystal, even
contribute more money to cover
tuxedos, basically anything that would these extra guests. If it is a space
Inviting Children
be rented, to be a part of this category.
issue or simply that her inviting
5 – 10% of your overall budget is typical
more guests than you’re allowing
Sooner or later the question of children is
here but this area can fluctuate wildly so
likely to come up. Do you want children
other parents to, you need to
you really we want to keep a close eye
at your wedding or not? There is no right
gently but firmly explain this to
on these.
or wrong answer to this question. It truly
• The last section of our spreadsheet
her and stick to it. While you
is a matter of your personal preference.
covers the remaining and in my opinion
don’t want to cause hurt feelings
Imagine yourself exchanging vows and
some of the most key elements. Namely
that could linger well beyond the
suddenly a baby starts to cry and won’t
photography, wedding planner, your
wedding, you also don’t want to
stop and for some reason the parent
gown, flowers, music, your officiant, set a precedent that could lead
is not taking the baby away. Can you
hair and makeup, videography, favors,
to misunderstandings at future
laugh this off and carry on or not? Babies
wedding rings and any other items you
family events. Remember, if you
cry and children fidget, that’s just how
are including in the budget. In most
it is. If you don’t mind these possible
are kind with your words and
cases these items collectively total 40
distractions then invite them, but if you
body language here, you will most
– 45% or the remainder of your budget.
do then I recommend you have a serious
Of these items, your wedding planner,
likely be heard. Try to rally other
discussion with your fiancé and then your
photographer, gown, florist and musicians
family members to help you if
family about an adults only wedding.
will have the biggest price tags.
necessary.
Continued on page 24
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