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First steps
Ready to begin planning but don’t know where to
n
start? These questions will point you in the right
direction...
1 Spread the word 3
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Setting the date
After you’ve said yes, the very next thing Now that you know how much you can
you’ll want to do is tell someone! If your spend, let’s get back to some of the
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Q&A
parents are still living – they are the first fun stuff and begin to discuss when this
people you need to tell. This is your first momentous occasion is going to happen!
etiquette tip! I know you are dying to tell • As you are considering dates, I
your best friend, but trust me, talk to your recommend picking a few possibilities so null
parents first. that when you begin talking with venues
My friend is hosting an
• Which parents first? If you can’t host a and vendors, you have some flexibility in
engagement party for us and she
dinner party and tell both sets at once case they are already booked.
you may want to follow tradition and • I want to encourage you to think about
wants to invite some friends who
tell the bride’s parents first. Then, get who you want at your wedding and
we aren’t planning to invite to the
together with your fiancé’s family and tell potentially in your bridal party. Besides
wedding. Is it OK to have them at
his parents. your fiancé, who else do you really need
the engagement party and not the
• No matter which order you tell them in, I to have by your side? This is an important wedding?
think telling them in person is ideal. They’ll question to address right now because
I’m so glad you asked this
want to see the ring too, you know! you are likely willing to adjust your
question. It is a definite faux pas
• Attention tech savvy brides: I don’t wedding date if it means the difference
to invite guests to any wedding
recommend using email or texting this between your best friend being with you
event be it an engagement party,
news to your parents – no matter how or not. So, make a list of your “must have”
convenient it seems. This is once in a attendees.
bridal shower, etc... if they are
lifetime news! After you’ve told your
not also to be invited to the
families, then by all means, update your
wedding itself. To avoid this
Facebook status and hit send on that
4
type of situation, be sure to talk
mass email.
What’s you style?
to your parents, maid/matron of
honor and best man to let them
I recommend you and your fiancé talk
all know about this little bit of
about what kind of wedding you both etiquette. This way, if there are
2
want to have and what your roles in the
any “surprise” parties in the
Money Matters
planning process will be.
works, there won’t be more than
• Try not to get caught in the trap of “I
one surprised guest!
We’ll get into the budget details in the next
have to have X in order to be happy.”
section, but here we need to talk about
Even if you cross a few items off your list,
you will still have a glorious day. I see it
I’m getting married in the evening
who is contributing to your wedding fund.
• To determine your total, you need to
happen all the time!
after 6:00. Does my groom have
know who is contributing. Many of today’s
• If others are contributing financially to
to wear a tuxedo?
wedding budgets are comprised of funds
the wedding, they should also have a say
Definitely not! While it’s true
from the couple and sometimes both sets
in the style. This can be a crossroads for that traditionally tuxedos were
of parents. Talk to your fiancé and your
some couples if they can’t agree with
de rigeur for evening weddings,
families and determine how much you
their parents. Ultimately, you may decide
today’s weddings are not held to
have to spend.
to forgo a larger wedding and pay for it
these strict requirements. It is
• I know money can be a sensitive issue
on your own to have what you both want.
more important to match your
and it may be more comfortable for you
• Remember, this is a day celebrating
your commitment to each other. If it
groom’s attire to your setting
to sit down with just you and your mom
and dad – but the sooner you and your
means having a more modest affair while
and overall wedding style. A linen
fiancé and your parents accept that you
being true to yourselves as a couple, you
suit may be more appropriate
two are a couple who make decisions
will relish the peace of mind that decision
(and more comfortable) for your
together, the better.
brings. outdoor vineyard wedding.
Continued on page 18
TheWeddingPlannerMag.com 15
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