remark on our consistent, headlong on the boat, a great gobbit of snow “Well, maybe,” said John. “Airway,
repetition of the same mistake.” slid off the tarp that was draped over breathing – what’s the third one?
“And what is that?” John asked. the boom, and slid down his neck. Circulation or Consciousness? I can’t
“Leaving the dock,” I said. John “Hypothermia,” I exclaimed. “Do you remember.” He lifted his exam paper
grunted and returned his attention know what to do? And don’t slip in out of the way of his first aid booklet,
to Tia Carrere, who, disguised as a the cockpit on your way inside, dear,” right over top of a lit candle, and set it
dancing-girl, was rescuing her drugged I said. “I don’t know how to secure a on fire.
male assistant from a sinister blonde fracture.” As John lit the stove to make The first aid instructor said he’d
beauty with a dark cloak and botox- a cup of tea after shaking cups of snow never marked a take-home exam with
injected lips. from out the bottom of his shirt, I a hole burned in it before. He said he’d
I smiled to myself and returned quizzed him about treating burns and pay close attention to questions five
to my knitting. But thinking about my scalds, and before the next airing of and six and 23 and 24 that John had
Christmas cake led me to ponder on ‘Relic Hunter,’ he had agreed to take a filled out on a separate sheet of paper
such subjects as food poisoning, and first aid course with me. because they’d been on the part that had
other medical emergencies onboard a “This will make us completely safe, burned. He said he was really glad that
boat. It seemed sensible, at least to me, Darling,” I said coaxingly, after our first John had filled out the question about
to focus my wifely influence, and insist day’s session. “It makes me happy to ‘safety in the home’ and he promised
we both take a first aid course. After think nothing bad will happen that we to mail him his first aid certificate. He
all, why not be prepared for absolutely can’t handle calmly and competently.” asked if he could keep the exam as an
everything? So I nagged. “Nobody told me there’d be an example of how not to do it.
The day John slipped a little exam,” John grumbled. He was sitting Buried deep in this cautionary tale,
stepping off the boat, I asked him at the table with some papers and a gentle reader, is a subtle admonition.
casually if he knew how to treat a skull first aid booklet. Do not spend your life anticipating
fracture. “I don’t,” I said. “Hope you “But it’s a take-home exam,” I disaster. Spent it in ways that you
don’t fall.” As we walked through the argued. I lit the three candles on the choose, with the people you love. No
snow from the post office, I prepared candelebra. “Look how easy. And matter how you plan, you may never
him for opening the VISA bill by there’s a whole section on ‘making be ready to go sailing. So go anyway.
commenting that it would be nice if I your living-space safer.’ With all the “How DOES she do those high
knew how to administer first aid after safety equipment we own, we should kicks?” John asked, and I blew him a
a heart attack. When we climbed back pass that part with flying colors.” kiss.
48° No r t h , Ja N u a r y 2010 Pa g e 40
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