P25 Arkwright :SGBGolf_NEW_template 23/09/2009 08:49 Page 25
Arkwright
ARKWRIGHT
THE INDEPENDENT VOICE
I
t all seemed like a good idea and I’m unpack, but that remark could have the dump, people started fighting for
sure I’ll think so again once things turned on me too and become a them! The more broken it was the
have calmed down but for now I’m debating point in the divorce more they wanted it, up went the
totally traumatised. During the settlement so best left alone until I price. My neighbour told me it’s all
summer a cunning plan was hatched thought I knew better where I stood. about the power of surprise; people
with the intention of making life Ten days on, a couple more perceive more of a bargain if it’s in an
easier by moving; not our house but arguments, a lot of shuffling of stock unexpected environment so flogging
of moving the sports shop to but no further mention of the D word broken furniture in the sports shop
premises nearer to our house. Any so I’m assuming we’re still happily may be a useful digression to see us
mention of my having a “cunning married and there’ll be no further through the recession. Perhaps
plan” is like setting off a thousand action on that front. adidas need to think that far out of
alarm bells in my partner’s mind and a the box to counter their alarming
smiling face quickly clouds over with a 93% drop in profits, is it possible
misty expression, so looking for
“I’m certainly tables with wobbly legs and 3 stripes
sympathy from that quarter is getting across them could catch on?
pretty short shrift right now. On
not using the
moving day things were getting a Good news that England has qualified
little strained between us, I kept
word guilty
for the World Cup but in my usual
pretending I couldn’t hear muttered cynical style I do have some cold
remarks along the lines of “someone
but you hardly
water to pour on the 5-1 win over
round here is always coming up with Croatia because if the score was to be
clever ideas and then expects others
hold your
in line with the England:Croatia
to help execute them”. When I didn’t population ratio it should actually
respond these progressed to “Why
hand up and
have been more like 11-1. Further,
do you never listen? Didn’t I warn whilst I have nothing against Fabio
you how bad this would be?” At
which point I stupidly set myself up by
ask for
Capello, or Sven, I think it’s an
absolute disgrace that not once but
saying, “Moving may be stressful, it
can at times nearly equate with the
immunity
twice England failed to come up with
an English coach who is capable of
stress of divorce”. No more
muttering then, loud and clear the
unless you did
taking control of 11 overpaid little
boys. Is there no English person,
response came, “Divorce, splendid!
A cunning plan to end all cunning
something”
hungry enough, ambitious enough or
proud enough to achieve in this role?
plans! So how soon can we
implement that one?” I went off to Who says crime doesn’t pay? It
make a cup of tea in an effort to help Prior to the move we had a bit of a would appear it could if a poacher
defuse the situation and I thought sale to reduce the stock and there retailer becomes gamekeeper and
that, along with the chocolate were some good bargains to be had. cosies-up to the Office of Fair Trading
biscuits, had successfully smoothed The real winners were the trainers promising never to be naughty again
the waters. However, the next day I that had become mixed size pairs, so and co-operate fully. Investigations
overheard the other half explaining no longer strictly pairs, but tissue are on going so I’m certainly not
our impending divorce to a customer. paper in the toe can work wonders in using the word guilty but you hardly
I was shocked but on continuing to getting the fit right and anyway most hold your hand up and ask for
eavesdrop I think (I haven’t dared ask people have one foot bigger than the immunity unless you did something.
for reassurance in case it’s not other as they are so fond of telling The fact that whilst poacher one
forthcoming) it was merely a ploy to me, along with far too much detail of (possibly) participated in cartel activity
distract attention from the customer’s other foot complaints. However, and fraud and (probably) benefited
unhappiness that we’d moved when I started pulling out some fantastically whilst damaging
premises. “Whose life and shop is random bits of furniture that had competitors who played by the rules
it?” I was tempted to scream from accumulated in the stock room over fits perfectly alongside the revelations
behind the arras, formed by an the years, and before I could get them of dodgy banking practices. What a
enormous pile of boxes we had yet to to the pavement to then be taken to wonderful world!
SEPTEMBER 2009 SGB SPORT 25
Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26  |  Page 27  |  Page 28  |  Page 29  |  Page 30  |  Page 31  |  Page 32  |  Page 33  |  Page 34  |  Page 35  |  Page 36  |  Page 37  |  Page 38  |  Page 39  |  Page 40  |  Page 41  |  Page 42  |  Page 43  |  Page 44  |  Page 45  |  Page 46  |  Page 47  |  Page 48