trans sexualities. T is is because sexual orientation traditionally uses the old dimorphic and essentialist model to situate desire. Gay and straight orientations are considered to be same- sex or opposite-sex at racted accordingly, with the oſt en invisibilised bisexuality understood as a desire for both same-sex and opposite-sex partners. If one has an indeterminant or non-binary biological sex (for example: intersex people), or one’s gender diff ers from the sex assigned at birth (for example, trans, non-binary and gender-diverse people), where does this leave these traditional concepts of sexual orientation? Just as with bodies, trans and non-binary people understand their sexual orientation in myriad ways, and there is no single system all trans people use to make their desires, relationships and at ractions intelligible. Once again, self-determination and autonomy are key. Below we will outline just some of the ways trans people may experience and express their desires and orientations, in order to inform bet er conversations in practice.
I am gay / lesbian / bisexual / straight
Many trans and non-binary people
make use of the familiar terms lesbian, gay, bisexual, and straight to describe themselves, regardless of the sex they were assigned at birth, and regardless of bodily modifi cations or medical interventions. For some people, claiming these traditional orientations is of great importance to their sense of gender identity. Some trans people make sense of their gender primarily along orientation lines. For example, trans women who exclusively date other women may have a strong lesbian identity, whilst trans women who exclusively date men, may have a strong heterosexual identity (Devor & Dominic, 2015). One’s internal sense of sexual orientation can be the principal motivator for transition: a person who is assigned female at birth who has a persistent sexual desire for gay men, for example, may cite this as a primary factor in transitioning to a trans masculine identity (Schleifer, 2006).
I fancy men / I fancy women Some trans and non-binary people may
make sense of their desire as being either androphilic (at racted to masculinity) or
Context 155, February 2018
gynephilic (at racted to femininity); this model centres the gender presentation of the desired partner, relieving the trans person of the necessity to stake their claim on their own gender identity. T is can be useful for questioning, non-binary, agender or bigender people, as their gender identity upends the common lesbian/gay/straight model of sexual orientation. Exclusively desiring either masculinity or femininity maybe referred to as monosexual. Bi identities are non- monosexual identities. For both trans and non-trans people
alike, desire and sexual orientation can be fl uid, changeable and partial or it can remain static, fi xed and exclusive across a lifetime. T ose who transition may fi nd their object of desire remains the same (for example, they remain androphilic, and continue to desire men), whilst others fi nd their desires seem to transition with them (for example, someone who may have exclusively desired men may begin to desire a diff erent gender post- transition). In either case, claiming a new sexual orientation is a personal choice, not a mandatory one, and trans people may make sense of their changed or unchanged desires in diff erent ways (Devor & Dominic, 2015). One theory for understanding why
some people’s transition coincides with a change in desire is that of ‘mirroring’. In Talia Bet cher’s theory of trans sexualities, she shows how it is not solely the gender of the desired person that is important in erotic encounters, but also how the self is seen (2014). Bet cher uses the term “direct mirroring” to refer to the erotic charge of same-ness, and “indirect mirroring” to refer to the erotic charge of complementariness, or diff erence. Using this theory, we can see that if a
person fi nds their erotic charge in direct mirroring (sameness), then their partner of choice may change as their identity, appearance and self ood do. For example, someone who has been assigned female at birth and who has historically had lesbian relationships with women, may fi nd that as they begin to masculinise, they are drawn instead to men and masculinities. Likewise, if what’s erotic for someone is indirect mirroring (diff erence), as their transition brings them closer to the embodiment of those they would have historically been at racted to, they may fi nd themselves desiring partners who
present more of a diff erence to their new embodiment. Add into this mix that you could consider sameness and diff erence across a variety of aspects of the self (genital, social, outward appearance) and it’s clear to see why it’s impossible to predict how or why desires shiſt : the point is, they might, and support in making sense of a change in orientation may be important in the therapy room. T ere are several areas where shiſt s
in orientation may require support in the therapeutic context: a change in someone’s sexual orientation may aff ect many of their relationships, particularly because we exist in a context where the dominant culture says sexual orientation is fi xed over a lifetime, so a person’s family, work colleagues or friends might struggle with the change, or a person might fi nd themselves excluded from a community that was once their base. Additionally, pre-existing sexual or romantic relationships may be under strain with worries or confl ict over the expectation or fear of the relationship ending.
I am queer Many trans people have eschewed
the rigidity of a lesbian, gay or straight identity, or an andro/gynephilic one, in favour of more unstable, plural or non-normative sexualities. A term such as queer, which paradoxically resists definition but is most commonly used by those who don’t identify with traditional categories around gender identity and sexual orientation, and pansexual, which refers to those whose emotional, romantic and/or sexual attraction towards others is not limited by biological sex, gender or gender identity (Stonewall, 2017), has opened up orientation categories. Terms such as this relinquish the
association to a particular gender in both the individual, and their desired partner(s). Additionally, embracing seemingly incoherent orientations, such as trans men who occupy a lesbian identity as well as a straight male one and a queer one, offers people a way to express their multiplicity without forcefully rejecting a label that one might have some affection for, or feel compelled to occupy for political or social reasons. How context informs identity and the need for language to explain or explore sexuality relationally is moved into
47
Trans sexualities in the therapy room
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64
