organisational work, which is what I think you have really done at Peak House. T anks so much James for being vulnerable, and bringing your own struggles to this interview. James: It’s been an honour, thanks.


Acknowledgments T is work occurred on the unsurrendered


Indigenous territories of the Musqueam, Skxwu7mesh-ulh Uxwuhmixw (pronounced Squamish) & Tsleil-Waututh nations.


Dedication We dedicate this writing and on-going


work to all of the gender non-conforming, questioning and Trans youth we work alongside who question, challenge, educate and transform us. We honour the strength and moral courage required to trust us enough to share their identities with us, and acknowledge the silencing pain we contribute to for all of the youth for whom we were and are not safe- enough to be out with.


References Hammoud-Beckett, S. (2007) Azima ila Hayati – An invitation in to my life: Narrative conversations about sexual identity. The International Journal of Narrative Therapy & Community Work, 1: 29-39. Heron, B. (2005) Self-refl ection in critical social work practice: Subjectivities and the possibilities of resistance. Journal of Refl ective Practice, 6: 341-351. Kivel, P. (2007) Social service or social change? In INCITE! Women of Color Against Violence, (eds.) The Revolution Will Not Be Funded: Beyond The Non-Profi t Industrial Complex, 129-150. Cambridge, MA: South End Press. Kumashiro, K. (2004) Against Common-Sense: Teaching And Learning Towards Social Justice. New York, NY: Routledge. Lacey, A. (2005) Spaces of justice: The social divine of global anti-capital activists’ sites of resistance. Canadian Review of Sociology and Anthropology, 42: 403-20. Reynolds, V. (2013) “Leaning in” as imperfect allies in community work. Narrative and Confl ict: Explorations in Theory and Practice, 1: 53-75. Reynolds, V. (2014) Centering ethics in therapeutic supervision: Fostering cultures of critique and structuring safety. The International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work., 1: 1-13. Spade, D. (2011) Normal Life: Administrative Violence, Critical Trans Politics, And The Limits Of Law. Brooklyn, NY: South End Press.


James Kelly is the executive director at Peak House, a provincial, alcohol and drug, live-in program for youth. James, a white settler, is trans identifi ed, lives in East Van, and is passionate about social justice, and providing anti-oppressive and inclusive services in his community


Vikki Reynolds is an activist and therapist who works to bridge the worlds of social-justice activism with community work and therapy. Vikki is a white settler of Irish, Newfoundland and English folks, and a heterosexual woman with cisgender privilege. Vikki is the therapeutic supervisor at Peak House (www.vikkireynolds. ca).


40


Narratives of sexuality


trans people Jos Twist


Let’s start at the beginning I was 31 years old when I began my


own gender-role transition. Whilst I may have been well into adulthood, I had always longed to embark on this particular adventure; yet there were factors present in my relationships that I felt were holding me back. In the main part, though not exclusively, I have dated and had relationships with men. When I told many of them that, despite the body I had, I did not identify as a woman but experienced myself as more masculine, they would often tell me that our relationship would have to end as they themselves were not gay. Consequently, for many years, I believed I needed to choose between holding and expressing a more masculine identity or having relationships with men: that if I made the commitment to transition, I would have to come to terms with the idea of being alone. In the Autumn of 2012, I met a man who


welcomed my story: who opened his heart to the possibility he could love me the way I was, and that others would love me too. It did not matter to him whether I was a man, a woman, or something diff erent altogether; what mattered to him was deeper than gender. The gift of his love helped me nurture the courage I needed to leap into the unknown. This is a narrative which is familiar to


many trans people, with the message that your partner will leave you if you transition being embedded in both medical and community discourses (Lev, 2004). Whilst it is a reality for some, many partnerships do continue through the process of gender transition (Meier et al., 2013). With gender and sexuality being discursively dependent (Sanger, 2010), many partners of trans people ask themselves, “What does my partner’s transition mean for my own identity?” (for example, Joslin-Roher & Wheeler, 2009). If their partner moves across the lines of gender, does their sexual orientation shift too? In order for the trans person’s gender identity to be validated by their partner, is it necessary for the non-transitioning partner’s sexual identity also to change? If identities


are social entities, formed by how others see us and treat us in the world, is it the others who gaze upon our relationships who get to defi ne who we are?


The participants and method Infl uenced by my own experiences of


relational sexual and gender identities, I was curious about how others had navigated this process. Between October 2015 and March 2016, I interviewed six cisgender women (‘cisgender’ refers to someone who remains in the gender they were assigned at birth) who had been partnered with trans people through the course of their transition. In the context of trans identities, the term ‘transition’ refers to moving from the gender one was assigned at birth to a diff erent gender role. This is often the ‘opposite’ gender, yet not exclusively, with an increasing number of people embracing a range of non-binary gender identities. ‘Non-binary’ is an umbrella term used for a range of gender experiences and identities that fall outside of the binary construction of gender (Barker & Richards, 2015). The process of transition is unique to the individual and often, but not always, includes a combination of social and physical changes. Social aspects can include a change in name, pronouns, identity documents, style and dress. Physical transition involves changing the body with the use of hormones and/or surgery. To be eligible for the study, participants


were required to have been together for at least six months before their partner started to transition, and at least a year after this date. The start of transition was self-defi ned by the participants and included a range of social (change of name and pronouns) and physical (starting hormones) changes. Five of the relationships were ongoing at the time of interview, with the relationships varying between 20 months and 47 years. All of the participants resided in the UK, and all were white. Their ages ranged from 35 to 71. In terms of the trans partners (who were not interviewed), one identifi ed as a trans man, one as non-binary (assigned male at birth),


Context 155, February 2018


Narratives of sexuality and intimacy in the partners of trans people


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