the act of sex, sexual practices, what we do with our bodies or to get off ) and sexuality as who we might do these things with (for example, our sexual orientation). For many people (but not all) sex involves bodies, and sex involves genders. If we take as our starting point that, for some trans people, normative alignment of bodies is very important and for others it is totally insignifi cant, and the same is true for sexual orientation, then we can begin to think about sexual desire and sexual practices without starting from a position that either reinforces or transgresses normativity. Here we have divided the category of
sexuality into bodies (the physical ways trans people have sex), and desires (where it might be directed).
Bodies Bodies are important when we think
about trans sexualities. Why? Because bodies are the primary sites by which our genders get played out, whether we like it or not. We are all assigned a gender at birth based on the bodies we have, and we all get taught what constitutes ‘normal’ for the body in question. As with non-trans people, each trans person’s relationship to their body is diff erent and, before we can explore the intricacies and intersections of how trans bodies relate to sexuality, we must consider trans bodies themselves. Trans bodies are trans bodies whether they have undergone gender-affi rming treatment or not, so it’s important not to assign a body part or function to a particular gender. For example, menstruation is not the sole domain of women: plenty of men menstruate, and plenty of women do not. Trans people of all genders have a broad range of body types and confi gurations, and no single confi guration will be a comfortable fi t for all trans people. By deconstructing the idea of what a normatively-gendered body looks and acts like, we can think of trans bodies as uniquely experienced, whole and perfect, with no fi xed goal or journey. To make this paradigm shiſt , we must begin to undo some of the body-gender associations we have. When we make a practice of this, characteristics that might have traditionally been considered gendered (such as beards, breasts, pregnancy and prostate glands) become gender-irrelevant, or gender irreverent. It’s important to remember that, for some people, gender is very much tied
46
to their material body and, for others, gender feels untethered to the physical body. Some people may experience a high level of discomfort with secondary sex characteristics (known clinically as gender dysphoria – DSM-5, 2013), whilst others experience none, with a vast range of experiences between these two polarities. T ese feelings can be stable, fi xed, constant, or they can be fl uid, variable, transitory. Dysphoric feelings can be specifi c to contextual and relational factors such as a type of sexual behaviour, or a type of partner, and they can be triggered and alleviated by other relational and contextual factors. Trans and non- binary people make their choices about if and how to modify their bodies based on these factors and others, including access to resources, healthcare, and safety. Body modifi cations span a broad area
and are not the sole domain of trans and non-binary people: mechanical modifi cations (such as binding breasts, wearing control-underwear, or padded bras), cosmetic modifi cations (such as hair-removal or make-up), and medical modifi cations (such as using hormone replacement therapy or surgeries), make up a set of technologies which may be used in any combination to help affi rm one’s gender or achieve greater comfort and recognition. T ose who don’t feel their body is in any way related to their gender, or those who feel their natal bodily at ributes are gender affi rming (such as trans women who enjoy their beards or trans men who like their breasts) may not make use of any body modifi cations, or may do so only infrequently, partially, or in particular contexts. It is not possible to tell someone’s gender identity based on these choices, and the application of modifi cations is not a signifi er of how ‘trans’ someone is. So, on to S-E-X. One of the normative
assumptions oſt en made about bodies and sex is that all people experience the genitals as erotic and all people’s genitals have pleasure potential. For plenty of people, trans and non-trans alike, this is not true. For many trans people, their genitals are a primary site of dysphoria: this may mean genital-sex is not desired or not preferable. However, not all trans people experience their bodies in this way and, just as harmful as the assumption that all genitals have the potential for pleasure, is the assumption that all trans genitals are off -limits or problematic in
some way. Trans people are the experts on their own bodies and pleasures and, as with non-trans people, sexual experiences can be a mixed bag. T ere are a range of tools and practices
which can help mediate the joys and challenges of sex, desire, and trans embodiment. Some of these practices can be used for solo sex as well as partnered sex. We have outlined some of them below: • T e use of language to rename and reframe the body: some trans people shed the old, ill-fi t ing names of their body parts and instead use words which feel more congruent with their gender. For example, trans men may refer to their non-modifi ed upper body as their chest, rather than their breasts, or their vaginal opening as their ‘man cave’ or ‘bonus hole’ (Edelman & Zimman, 2014), and trans women may call what might anatomically be read as their penis, their clitoris.
• T e use of prosthetics: there are temporary tools and practices which help some trans people feel more able to access pleasure or sexual embodiment such as the use of prosthetic penises (hard dildos, which may be used for penetration, and soſt ‘packers’), prosthetic breasts, etc.
• T e use of body manipulations or modifi cations: the use of suction pumps on a clitoris (particularly one enlarged by testosterone) can engorge the clitoris so that is it is more erect and enlarged. In this way it can be stimulated like a penis. Shoe-lace like material, or cock- rings can be used to tie around the base of the enlarged clitoris to maintain the erection. Both penises and testicles can be tucked inside the body, either creating an aesthetic pleasure, or a penetrative space. Both testicles can be manipulated through the inguinal canals, creating a penetrable area, a practice known as ‘muffi ng’ (Bellwether, 2010)
• T e use of medicalised bodily modifi cations such as hormones or surgeries to move towards desired embodiments.
• Alternative sex acts such as BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, masochism), role- play, tantra, breath and energy sex, phone or online sex, sexting, virtual reality sex, and clothed or non-genital sex.
Desire
Sexual orientation can be a point of confusion for people working with
Context 155, February 2018
Trans sexualities in the therapy room
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